What Is A Hero?
by Nacey
Summary: While protecting a string of villages from a warlord, Xena struggles with a mortal Ares after he has a fight with Artemis. Gabrielle is surprised to discover a side to Joxer she hadn't seen before.
1. Prologue

**What is a Hero?**

Part One of the Children of the Gods series.**  
**

**©2006.  
By Nancy Lorenz.**  
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**Disclaimers:** Xena Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Joxer and Callisto are all characters owned by MCA/Universal studios. All Gods but Aphrodite and Ares written from Greek Myth, with some Xena canon thrown in. No money is being made from this creation.

**Content:** Gabrielle/Joxer, Ares/Xena.

**Chronology:** Before the Sacrifice episodes. Let's pretend, just for this series, that Hope never lived past Maternal Instincts. Nup. The bitch was poisoned, she died. For my sanity, mmkay?

**Author's Notes:** This story would be nothing without the help and advice of Sandy, a darling woman I only really got to know well years AFTER Xena finished, yet she was around at the time. Call it madness - I've been missing out on the friendship of an awesome person! I also thank Findle, for all the times I've pounced upon him online, nattered in his ear about my story and probably bored him utterly shitless. Tina, my little baby sister, too has had me do this to her. So to them - thank you. You've helped me immensely.

**Rating: M **

_No one knows what it's like_

_To be hated To be fated _

_To telling only lies _

_But my dreams _

_They aren't as empty _

_As my conscience seems to be _

_I have hours, only lonely _

_My love is vengeance That's never free_

_"Behind Blue Eyes"_

_The Who._

**Prologue **

The room was warm, a fire crackling at the hearth. Not a real fire, but there was no one there to criticize. Well - no one that cared. Nearby was a round table bedecked with perfectly ripe fruits that exuded a rich tart smell, and an ornate crystal amphora, filled to the brim with rich blood-red wine. It was the kind of fair that he was used to. He was a God, one of the most loved in Greece, mainly because he was the eldest. First son of Zeus, handsome, virile symbol of masculinity and headstrong passions. Reduced to cringes as his sister laughed at him openly.

He had no reason to trust her. He wasn't even sure why he let her into his realm. He supposed they both kept an eye on the Amazons, and they were a pet project that Artemis was utterly obsessed with. He knew that deep down, it had to burn Artemis right up that they were *his* creation, he made them and that his energy ran through their veins and made them as magnificent and terrible as they were, even though they worshipped Artemis as well.

He let her talk, hoping to figure out why in Hades' realms she was here bothering him.

"Again?" she chuckled. "She got away again?"

Ares rolled his tongue around in his mouth darkly. "Yeah, so?"

Artemis tisked through a pout. Her hair was the black of the darkest midnight, framing her healthy olive skinned face. Her deep brown eyes regarded him coldly as she cleaned her under her nails with the tip of one of her arrows.

"Honestly brother, how hard can a mortal female be to defeat?"

"What makes you think I'm trying to defeat her?" He snorted nonchalantly. "It's gratification I want from her."

He knew that story wouldn't slide forever, and it didn't seem to convince his sister. Artemis rose an eyebrow only for a moment, a smirk forming on her pointed lips. She laughed at him again, her grin emphasizing her nymph like nature, her knee high sandals and short toga making her look younger than she was by a few millennia. The grin didn't seem to reach her eyes.

"Yes, I know. It's pathetic," she said, and her smile turned to an derisive grimace. "Some God of War you are. Can't do your job because of your preoccupation with this Xena woman! And people wonder why I choose to be chaste."

"Woah - who says I'm not doing my job?" he growled.

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Oh, just about everyone in the Pantheon. Not that you've ever been very good at doing anything other than getting your butt kicked."

"Hey!"

She sighed, waving a hand at him. "Don't pretend it's any different, Ar. Anyway. You've been worse since Xena. Everything you do is connected to her somehow. When's the last time you tricked two warlords into fighting each other till neither of them were left standing? Whatever happened to goading the Spartans? Teasing the Aegeans?"

"I've been busy," he said, shrugging and frowning into his goblet of wine. "I've just been planning something really good... really horrific."

A lie. A laugh from Artemis told him that she obviously didn't buy his excuses, and fewer of the Olympian Gods did every day. He was fast running out of relatives to bullshit to. A worry flowered in his chest, that perhaps Zeus had sent Artemis here. It would be like him to get one of his favourite daughters to grill him about this sort of thing. Just the sort of relative to make him mad and fly off the handle, making some terror and destruction in the process. Perhaps his paranoia was getting the better of him, but he knew better than to take Artemis on face value.

She blinked at him with gleaming dark brown eyes. "Seriously, Ares... we must do something about this... 'thing' you have for Xena."

"I haven't got a thing for Xena," he said sternly, getting up from his pew and strolling to the lounge fetching some wine. "I liked the havoc she caused, the fighting, the leather, the brass..." Not that he knew it, but his confident smirk grew a little distant.

Artemis rolled her eyes and groaned. "Who are you trying to kid?" She sighed, leaning back in the chair she sat in. "Come on Ares, busty brassy Valkyries are a dinar a dozen. Why not find another human to play with awhile, huh?"

Ares shuffled on the spot uncomfortably.

Artemis looked to him with disdain. "You always have to get obsessed with the difficult ones, don't you?" She sighed huffily. "You know she can't stand you. You're everything she hates... you're conniving, cowardly, evil and male. Not to mention twisted and entirely self-centred."

He handed her a clay cup of wine tiredly. "Thanks." He added with a frown. "May I point out she doesn't have a problem with men?"

"No, just you." She sipped the wine thoughtfully. "You've been trying to get this Xena back for years. She's hardly worth the fuss, is she?"

A long sigh left Ares as he tipped his head to the side. "She's only a one in a million, Art."

"Oh please." Any sympathy the Goddess may have been showing fell from her demeanour as she squared her shoulders and set her dark eyes at her brother. "Well, tell me. What's wrong with the way things are now? She's a warrior, isn't she? She fights?"

"Yes, she fights, and I enjoy it." He didn't tell her that he lived for it. That he loved every moment her heart thumped as she wielded a weapon or brought her own flesh to bear on someone's body, that it made him feel alive like nothing else did. He thought she wouldn't have taken it very well. Either way, it was crystal clear in his warm brown eyes, and Artemis saw it.

She sighed, getting to her feet and strolling over to Ares. She placed her hands on his shoulders, massaging them in a somewhat awkward approximation of sisterly affection. It didn't work because everyone knew, including Ares, that Artemis was close to nobody but Apollo and her nymphs.

"Oh Ares, you can do better than her. You are the God of War. You deserve a princess!"

"Funny," he muttered.

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Okay, that's it. Little sister is gonna finally do you a favour and help you out with your Xena hang-up, okay?"

"What do you mean, help me?" He frowned at her, brows knitting. "Since when did you ever help me with anything, Artemis?"

"Since it's messing with the balance of things, Ares," she said, doing her best to look innocent and caring. "Everyone in Olympus wants this little mess sorted. So do you want my help or not?"

"Right. Fine. Whatever," he bit out, rubbing his eyelids.

"One condition, though."

He glanced up at her doggedly. "Name it," he said darkly.

"If it doesn't work I want you to drop this thing okay? Father is getting really worried about you, and as a God you have your responsibilities. Enough of your time has been taken up by this mortal. I think all the family would be in agreement that it is time to end this one way or another."

He felt dread wash over him and he pursed his lips, running a finger over his beard briskly. "What's your plan?"

Artemis grinned, massaging his shoulders once more with vigour.

"Well... one thing you should realise is that you can't romance a woman with deals or bribery or blackmail. I know, you're a War God, it's your style..." She ticked a nostril with distaste. "You might have been lucky with Xena by now if you hadn't treated her like a commodity all this time."

Ares sighed, a little petulantly. "You wanna get to the point?"

"You know Daddy has a saying," she said, leaning on his shoulder and batting her eyelashes at him. "Keep it simple, stupid."

~~*~~


	2. Chapter 1: Meeting at Halyphos

_**Chapter One**_

Gabrielle crouched behind the shelf of assorted gourds as Xena tried her utmost to blend into the armour rack. She barely breathed, keeping as still as she possibly could. She hoped upon hope that they'd hear what they needed to hear sometime soon, because she was utterly sick of reconnaissance work. With a growl she stretched her neck.

"Xena... please. They're not coming here, obviously."

For that Gabrielle earned an angry glare from Xena, which she took to mean that the warrior woman wanted her to shut the heck up.

Rolling her eyes, Gabrielle sighed and tried her best to get comfortable behind the shelf. It was impossible. She had barely a foot of space to stand in, and if she breathed too deeply her breasts would brush the shelf and make it shudder. She could see the shop owner looking rather annoyed. Obviously the inconvenience of having two of the known world's most dangerous warrior women in his shop, ready and willing to beat the ever-loving crap out of him if he didn't fulfill their most humble request, was too much for him.

It was while Gabrielle started to get irritated with a stone caught in her boot that she began to hear a familiar sound. The rhythmic and syncopated 'clank-di-clunk' that could only be produced by a particular set of mis-matched armour. She felt herself tense, and glancing to Xena, she saw that her best friend was not expecting this either.

"Did you tell him?" she mouthed to Xena.

Xena shook her head quickly.

_Shit_, she thought, gritting her teeth. It's not that she minded Joxer's company. She'd gotten used to it a long time ago and it had become that she actually liked having the dork around. Heck. He was family, what else could she say? But of all the times he had to run into them...

The heavy wooden door of the shop opened and closed noisily, and Gabrielle felt a hot annoyance spread through her as the exact person she didn't want to see ambled into the room. Pointed helm on scruffy-haired head, the fellow strode around the room, humming and hawwing and nodding at the wares about him. Under the annoyance tickled a chuckle, and Gabrielle had to shake her head with an affectionate smirk.

"How much is this sword, good man?" boomed Joxer, pointing at a particularly handsome blade, trying to sound as manly as he could.

_By the Gods_, groaned Gabrielle in thought, _He's going to make me lose our cover. I don't know how, but he will..._

"Wow!" he said, voice returning to normal, "That's a lot of dinars!" Pointing in Gabrielle's direction, he began to wander away from the shop counter. "I'll just go have a look at your gourds... Nice, wonderful gourds."

Gabrielle's smirk froze on her face as Joxer stopped in front of the very shelf she hid behind. The backless shelf she could probably be seen through.

The pretty bard kept her face stony still, and she could feel his dark eyes skim past her. Her heart shuddered, and she wished she didn't have to hide from him. _If only he'd ran into us on the road_, she thought. _Damn it to the Gods. If the man we're after comes into the door now, and he sees that Xena and I are here, then everything will be ruined..._

She watched him round the corner of the gourd rack, and he began to examine the armour. She saw the same expression on Xena's face that she was sure she had worn. Worry, fear, regret.

"Maille," muttered Joxer, strolling along. "Leather vest... bronze chest plate... Xena." He did a double-take, pointing through the rack. "Xena!"

Xena winced. "Joxer! Hi! How are you?"

His mouth wagged, and Gabrielle tensed all over as confusion mounted in Joxer's expression.

"I'm fine," he said, and pointed to the door, and then to himself. "I just - I was - "

To Gabrielle's chagrin, her stressed breaths caused the shelf of gourds to shudder, and Joxer turned, spotting her instantly this time.

"Gabrielle!"

"Joxer, get down!"

Hearing the door-knob clank, Gabrielle grabbed Joxer, yanking him behind the shelf with her. "Keep STILL!" she hissed.

"Were you guys hiding from me?"

"NO! Now, shut UP!"

"What's-"

Joxer hushed, probably instinctually, as the hugest warrior either of them had seen in a while plodded into the room.

"Haradros!" roared the warrior. "You got the message?"

"I did," said Haradros, the armoury and supplies dealer, looking very tense indeed. "Perhaps you can come back _later_, when I have the time to tend to your needs..."

Of a sudden a shield sprang from its place on the wall and crashed right next to Haradros, who jumped a clear foot in the air. Neither the warrior nor Haradros saw the chakram that had caused the shield to ping from the wall. The warrior growled, and leaning across the counter, he grabbed Haradros by the collar of his shirt.

"Listen. Mallecium arranged a time for me to order the goods. If you can't do it, then me and a few of my friends will come around and make it so you can. Got it?"

Haradros shuddered from head to toe. "Y-y-yes!"

"Right." The warrior let him go, and straightened himself out. "Let's see here... where's the list?" Haradros looked panicked, and he bounced a little on his feet as the warrior looked away to search through the pouch on his belt. "Here we are! He-he. The thing you want the most is always at the bottom of your bag, isn't it?" Haradros winced, trying to make it a friendly grin. "So where are we here? Ah! Ten swords... the nice kind with the rough edges that pull your enemy's guts out, you know which one I mean? Good, good. Uh, we want shields to go with them. Heavy wood, iron reinforcements... We all got our own daggers, but we'll need a whole bunch of arrows and spears for the artillery. The numbers are all here, anyway..." The warrior handed a small piece of parchment to the shaking Haradros. "Mallecium will be by in two weeks to pick up the goods."

Haradros nodded. "Yes. Yes, not a problem."

Nodding and smacking Haradros roughly, the large warrior stomped out of the shop, the little piece of parchment still clutched in the shop-keeper's hand.

After a moment's wait, Xena sighed, stepping out from behind the armoury racks and glowering at Haradros.

"I suppose you don't want me to fill the order?"

"Actually, I do," said Xena, approaching Haradros with cat-like grace. "Mallecium's not stupid, and I know he listens to the rumours of my movements. If I stop you, then he'll will know I'm definitely in the area, and that can't happen, can it?"

Haradros squirmed until Xena leant on the counter, and then he nodded.

"No, no, of course it can't."

"Because should he find out about me, I'll know it's you. Then you'll be getting another visit from me and Gabrielle here, and it won't be as nice as this one."

"R-r-right," nodded Haradros.

"Gimme a look at that list," said Xena. She reached her hand out and received it from Haradros. Her blue eyes skimmed over it quickly, and she growled. "Not good. Here." She gave it back.

Xena looked to Gabrielle and Joxer huddled behind the shelf of gourds and tipped her head.

"Let's go."

~~*~~

They made a beeline for the nearest inn in the town after their adventure in the armoury. They'd been to so many inns and taverns that they'd lost count, and this one was much like every one of them. There was a roast over the fire, clay bowls for the dripping in a pile next to the fire-place, and it was two dinars for cheese, bread and a piece of the roast. The ale was good, though, and Gabrielle could see the relish on Joxer's face as he took a long draw from the foamy head that topped his tankard.

"Good beer?" she asked him.

Joxer nodded and gave and enthusiastic thumbs up. "I'm definitely putting this place in my mental list of 'Total dumps that surprise you."

Gabrielle chuckled.

Joxer smiled only a moment, his expression fading to thoughtfulness. "So... before, in the armoury..." He twisted his lips, then licked them nervously. "You weren't hiding from me... were you?"

An uncomfortable smile flittered across Gabrielle's face, and she looked down to her fingers which were suddenly fiddling with themselves. "Uhm... no, of course not."

The discomfort seemed to spread to Joxer, and he squirmed a little, nervously. "You sure?"

"Absolutely."

"Cause, I mean, I don't ever want to be a pain," he said, lifting his hands up to her.

As he said that, Gabrielle could see the insecurity in Joxer's eyes, and any selfish annoyance she might have felt before melted away. She was vividly reminded in that moment why they liked to have him around.

"Joxer," she said, "We were in the middle of a mission..."

"I know," he nodded. "I was just makin' sure."

Gabrielle reached across the table and grabbed his hand, squeezing it.

Xena sat down at the table, a plate of food in one hand and a tankard of ale in the other. Glancing at the table-top, her blue eyes fell on Gabrielle's hand wrapped around Joxer's, and she ticked a brow in vague interest. Blushing, Gabrielle stuffed her hands into her lap.

"How's the beer?" asked Xena.

"Good," said Joxer, smiling at Gabrielle in amusement. "It's good."

Gabrielle grit her teeth at him, repeating to herself that she indeed liked to have him around.

"So what in Hades' name are you doing here, anyway? I thought you were off to Athens to visit your folks," said Xena.

"I was," said Joxer. "But I heard about all the towns that had been sacked in this part of Greece, and I thought, well - hey! This place needs a hero."

"And you came because..." Gabrielle looked wry. Xena rolled her eyes, taking a swig of her ale.

"I guess you figured you'd run into us," she said, moving the conversation away from taunting Joxer. Joxer nodded in reply.

The food on Xena's plate smelt wonderful, and although she'd had a small bowl of soup already, Gabrielle felt her stomach rumbling again. She stood, pointing at Xena's plate.

"I'm gonna go get some roast beef."

Xena shrugged as the bard went off after some food. She noticed Joxer watching Gabrielle go and she shook her head. "So... were you really out for adventure, or were you looking for us?"

"Looking for you," said Joxer, seemingly sagging with embarrassment. "Listen, Xena. I'm gonna be honest with you for a minute. I know I'm not the best warrior out there-"

"No!" She feigned shock.

Joxer tipped his head at Xena's sarcastic tone. "Xena..."

"Sorry. Keep going."

"Anyway... I *am* going to see my folks soon. Mom's expecting me. But ya see, I got this problem."

"Oh? What's that?"

"Well, I put the word out that I'm this great warrior. Not only that, but I kinda told Mom in a letter how I was travelling with you and could really kick ass n' stuff."

Looking over the slice of beef in her hands at Joxer, Xena seemed to consider the situation, chewing thoughtfully.

"Joxer, you do travel with us. Until I have this Mallecium guy licked, I'm stayin' right here. I'm not going to cross half of Greece to impress your-"

"No, Xena, no," he said, waving his hands. "No, I ..." He blushed, looking to the bottom of his tankard. "...I was just wonderin' if you'd... you know... damn..." He looked away. "I was wondering if you could teach me some moves to show my Mom."

Xena's brows disappeared up into her fringe, and she dropped her hunk of roast beek back onto her plate. "Joxer..."

"Before you say no, just know... I won't act like a jerk, I promise. I'll listen to everything you say."

"Joxer," Xena said with a sigh, "I'm not teaching you how to wave a sword about for the purpose of pleasing your mother."

Visibly deflating, Joxer pouted into his lap. "Oh. Okay."

"I will, however, teach you some basics so you can take care of yourself. One of these days you might get into some trouble and Gabrielle and I won't be there in time to save your ass."

A smile spread across Joxer's face, and he gripped Xena's arm. "Oh, Xena! You won't be sorry, really-"

She patted his hand. "Just promise me you'll take this seriously. I don't want you ever showing off with what I show you. You learn cause you want to look after yourself, and other people. Deal?"

"Deal," nodded Joxer eagerly. "Thanks, Xena. I'll try to be the best student I can."

"Yeah, well..." Xena smirked. "It's about time you let me teach you a thing or two."

Gabrielle soon returned with a plate of beef and fresh-baked bread dipped in dripping. She looked between Xena and Joxer as she sat down, curiosity piqued at their expressions.

"So," she said, sitting down and eyeing her meal. "What'd I miss?"

"Nothin'," Joxer said quickly, looking shy.

Xena lifted a brow at him, then looked to Gabrielle. "Joxer's joining us for this one."

Gabrielle's mouth popped open. "What? Xena, are you nuts?"

Frowning, Joxer squirmed uncomfortably in his seat and looked away, a sulky pout forming on his lips.

"This is far too dangerous," she said. "We're going up against a warlord and his entire army!"

"What, and going up against Gods and psychotic killers is a piece of cake?" asked Xena, looking a little confused. "He'll cope. He has before and he can again." Gabrielle threw her piece of beef down angrily in response. "Listen. He's been through a few scrapes with us, and it's a certainty that he'll face more. For the next few days while we try to find Mallecium, I'm gonna teach him a few moves so he can look after himself."

"You're doing what?" Gabrielle asked huskily. Xena never taught anyone a few anythings. She was effectively going to take Joxer under her wing, leaving Gabrielle utterly wingless. Her stomach churned as if she'd fallen from a great height.

Of a sudden, Joxer stood, clanking noisily, looking entirely humiliated. "Yeah, I know, me learn anything. Ha ha! Well I'm sick of being the idiot that always gets himself into trouble. All I did was ask help from the one person I trust not to laugh in my face. I'm sorry if I'm ruining your plans. Maybe I'll just move on... go to Athens like I said I was." With that he turned and stomped from the inn.

Turning her head back to Gabrielle, Xena lifted a brow.

"Xena, don't look at me like that..."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm the biggest bitch since Medusa crawled out of her cave."

Xena rolled her eyes. "Gabrielle, I know you worry about him but don't you think its time you let him take some real responsibility for himself?"

"What are you saying?" gasped Gabrielle, narrowing her eyes.

"Well, as it is, he needs us," said Xena in a silky yet innocent tone. "Once I teach him a thing or two, he might just be okay on his own."

"That is NOT it, that's not it at all!"

"I'm only telling you what I see," shrugged Xena.

She huffed, feeling her cheeks burning. She didn't know HOW Xena could suggest such a thing as her _enjoying_ the fact that Joxer needed them.

"Well what about me?" she asked him. "Is that it? You've taught me all you need to? There's no more stave work I need to learn? No more-"

Xena took her hand. "You know you're more than capable of taking care of yourself. I think you're ready to accept the fact that you're my partner, rather than... well..."

"Your sidekick?" supplied Gabrielle with a lifted brow.

"Yeah," smirked Xena. "That's one word you could use."

Gabrielle smiled, pride suddenly surging in and replacing the jealousy and anger that had taken her only a moment ago. Xena saw her as an equal... she doubted there was anything that could kill her good mood. She looked across the table to Joxer, and remembered the wounded look on his face as he strode out of the inn. She sighed, cradling her face in her hands.

"I better find Joxer... make sure he's okay."

"You do that. I'm finishing my dinner."

~~*~~

Guilt played in her stomach as she stood in the doorway of the Inn. Gabrielle didn't often apologise to Joxer. Well, to be honest, she didn't really apologise to anyone but Xena, and even then it was a rare case because Xena was more likely to apologise to Gabrielle than vice versa. She had to wonder what on earth she was going to say to him.

That's if she could find him.

She peered out into the silky darkness of the night, remembering the layout of the town from that afternoon, trying to make a guess of where Joxer might go. She nearly jumped out of her skin when his voice came from the veranda she stood on.

"If you've come to convince me to leave town, don't worry. I'm going tomorrow."

Turning, she approached him, clasping her hands together nervously. "Actually, I came to say sorry."

In the dim golden light form the torch by the door, she could just make out his brows lifting in surprise. She sank down next to him on the old worn bench by the door, sighing deeply.

"I worry about you in these sorts of situations. I don't know if you realise that."

"Heh." Joxer shrugged a shoulder. "I always assumed you kinda... think I get in the way."

She had another wash of guilt as she realised that she never said a thing to him to suggest otherwise.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "When we first met I... I didn't really know what to make of you. Things changed, though. I guess I was scared of that. Maybe I didn't want you changing too much either."

"Well don't worry," he said darkly, gazing into the darkness beyond the Inn. "I doubt there's anything Xena could teach me that would change me from being an idiot."

"Joxer, don't talk like that," said Gabrielle, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Do you really think Xena and I would have you around if you weren't special?"

He looked to her, and his dark eyes gleamed in the torchlight. In moments like this, he lacked all the goofiness that made him safe, kept him in the role of the fool. They were no longer the eyes of a frightened boy, but those of a man that knew exactly what he was feeling and wasn't afraid of it in the slightest. A shudder ran through Gabrielle's body, and a little voice in her mind remarked that sometimes, Joxer looked downright handsome.

"I'm special?" he asked with a sceptical smile.

She nodded. "Of course."

"How?"

_Damn it, he had to ask_. Gabrielle licked her lips, her heart thumping hard for a reason she didn't entirely understand.

"W-well, you care about people... at least, enough to risk your life for them. You stand up to those that do wrong, even if you know they're stronger than you... and... uhm..." It was so hard to look into his eyes. It made her lose track of what she was thinking. The silly, silly man. "You've been there for me and Xena. You make us laugh..." She drifted off, not quite sure of what she was saying. "You make me laugh."

His eyes twinkled. "At me or with me?"

Gabrielle broke into a chuckle, her hand finding his and squeezing it. "With you, of course."

Joxer nodded with a broad smile.

"I'm sorry I made you think I didn't believe in your potential," she said. "Or that I didn't want you around."

"It's okay," he said. "It was really hard asking Xena for help. You know... I'm always making out like I'm the hero-"

"Really?"

Her sarcasm made him tip his head and he nodded dryly back at her. "Yeah, yeah. Anyway. I was probably a bit sensitive about it all."

"Doesn't help that I was acting like a complete bacchae."

Joxer pursed his lips and looked mischievous. "I'm gonna refrain from commenting, there, since we just managed to renew the status quo."

"Very funny," she smirked.

"Well, I gotta make you laugh somehow."

She narrowed her eyes playfully. "I don't think I was giving you permission to be a smart-ass."

Joxer grinned.

Light suddenly spilled out onto them, and a tall figure darkened the doorway of the Inn. Gabrielle pulled her hands from Joxer, shifting away from him a touch.

"Oh. There you guys are." Xena looked back and forth between them. "So... you sorted things out?"

"Yeah," said Gabrielle.

"Absolutely," nodded Joxer.

"Well. That makes for a nice change, doesn't it?" She smirked. "I just got us a room. We'll be in number four." With that Xena turned and disappeared back inside the Inn.

Gabrielle sighed. "I swear she has untold joy from getting the last word."

"You know it," agreed Joxer.

~~*~~


	3. Chapter 2: A Slight Detour

_**Chapter Two**_

They started early the next day when they left Halyphos. It was a cool, gentle morning, the sun bright and the air crisp. Gabrielle could see Argo glorying in the beautiful weather, shaking her head happily and swishing her tail. Joxer ambled along, humming his silly song to himself, swinging his arms happily. Even Xena seemed to be enjoying the morning, narrowing her eyes and gazing at the broad blue sky above them.

They travelled on the highway that lead to the Corinthian Isthmus, that passed through many towns along the way. Gabrielle assumed they were headed for Pelennos, which recent intelligence (the blacksmith they beat up on) cited as Mallecium's next target. It was along this highway that Mallecium had also travelled, taking the towns that strung it like pearls. (All except Halyphos, which, by no coincidence, was the home of the crooked blacksmith). Between thick, old patches of forest stretched fertile, rich fields and cultivated vineyards that sustained these towns.

Gabrielle wasn't entirely clear on what Xena was planning against Mallecium. They knew he had an army of about sixty men, and that he was ordering new weapons for them. Gabrielle had to wonder why Xena was heading for Pelennos and away from Halyphos and the dirty-dealing blacksmith.

She was even more mystified when Xena headed down a fork in the road into the forest. Gabrielle stopped, leaning on her staff.

"Xena... where are you going?"

Xena looked over her shoulder as she brought Argo to a halt. Joxer had followed her wordlessly, and now he stood next to her, looking between them with an intrigued expression.

"Lake Hyrmine," said Xena.

Gabrielle huffed a laugh. "Don't you think it's a bit of an inappropriate time to go fishing?"

Xena rolled her eyes and smiled thinly at Gabrielle. "We have two weeks until those weapons are ready. That's two weeks until Mallecium will strike his next target. Rushing into Pelennos and waving our weapons about isn't going to accomplish a thing."

"You're gonna scout out Mallecium's location, right? See what kinda outfit he's got..." said Joxer, pointing at Xena and grinning.

"Joxer, be quiet," muttered Gabrielle, exasperated.

Xena lifted a brow. "Actually, Joxer's right."

Gabrielle blinked. "What?"

"We're going to set up camp by the lake. And then I'm going to see if I can find where our little warlord pal is hiding." With that she turned Argo about and kept on down the track.

Giving a little laugh of disbelief, Gabrielle sprinted down the track to catch up with Xena, looking up at her imploringly.

"You can't be going alone..."

"I am," said Xena, eyes locked on the forest trail ahead.

"Don't you think it would be better if I went with you? Backed you up in case you're found?"

"That's a nice thought, Gabrielle," said Xena, finally looking down at her. "But it's better if I'm on my own. One person is quieter and leaves less of a track than two."

The bard folded her arms, frowning stubbornly. "I don't like this."

"Besides," said Xena. "Someone's gotta look after Joxer."

"Hey!" Joxer said, voice raised. "I don't need looking after!"

Gabrielle rolled her eyes, and Xena smirked.

"It was a joke, Joxer."

"Oh."

The bard all but kicked the ground as they veered off into the forest. Her temper had flared up, and she was angry at Xena, at Joxer, at the Gods. Things were changing about her and she didn't mind so much but they weren't how she wanted them to change. She kept reminding herself that she was Xena's equal now, that Xena had said so. What worth were words when she told her to stay behind and babysit Joxer? Of all the hypocritical, patronising things to do...

A frenzied clanking alerted Gabrielle to a sudden movement on Joxer's part. She grabbed her staff tightly in ready defense. But Joxer was smiling, his hands cupped together. Gabrielle looked ahead to Xena, who looked over her shoulder with a lifted brow of concern. Joxer held his cupped hands in front of Gabrielle, and she looked down to them, curiously.

At once he parted them, and from the space they created burst a flurry of elegant colour. She couldn't help but gasp, and as her eyes focused on the thing fluttering from Joxer's hands, she saw it was a butterfly. It gamboled about, meandering this way and that before entwining itself in the path of another butterfly, and the two colourful insects danced with each other before disappearing into the canopy of the forest about them.

Joxer smiled, eyes on the butterflies. "I didn't want you to miss seeing it," he said. "It was pretty."

She felt the corners of her mouth battle to smile, and she let herself, just a little.

~~*~~

The first thing Gabrielle did after they set up camp by the lake was pull out her scrolls, quill and ink. Her stomach was a knot of emotions, of anger, confusion, worry and other feelings uncountable. She unrolled a parchment, barely listening to Joxer and Xena chat to each other. It was a surprisingly calm atmosphere in the camp, considering what the days held ahead of them.

As Gabrielle's eyes roved over the empty scroll in her lap, Joxer ambled over, dropping onto his bottom on the pelt next to her.

"Hey. Whatcha writing?"

She gave a tense smile, clutching her quill. "Uhm. Nothing yet. I'm waiting for something to hit me."

Joxer nodded, and proceeded to pull off his armour. "You'll think of something."

"Joxer, what are you doing?" asked Gabrielle, looking him up and down as he struggled to pull off his chest plate.

"Xena's gonna teach me some stuff before she goes on reconnaissance," he said eagerly. "She told me to take my armour off for some reason."

"Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it's more a hindrance than a help?" she suggested, smirking a little.

"Poke fun all you like," said Joxer. "It's saved my life more than once."

"I'm sure it has."

Joxer sighed, rolling his eyes. "I know I look ridiculous," he said, uncharacteristically serious for a moment. "I had no money when I left home, so I couldn't afford great armour like Xena's. And I'm not a good fighter - I know that. I have to wear something, or I'd be dead that much faster."

Gabrielle lifted her brows. "Did it ever cross your mind to *not* try to be a hero? I mean, you're not exactly suited-"

"Well you were just a farm girl, weren't you?" Joxer said, eyes gleaming. "You got good, why can't I?"

She shook her head, not having an answer to that. He went on.

"My Dad and my brother... they got along really well. They used to do things together, you know. Abuse the village idiot, raid small towns near ours - you name it." He frowned, suddenly, looking down at his helmet in his lap. He tapped it nervously. "They'd come back and tease me... for not joining in. Thing is - I did try to, once." He sighed. "I remember the people being so frightened. I just couldn't get any joy out of it, you know? That's the day when I stopped wanting to be a warlord like my Dad. S-" He rubbed his face, looking guilty somehow. "It's also the day Dad decided he needed to be 'cruel to be kind'. He-" Joxer shook his head. "Doesn't matter."

Her heart dropped like a lead weight in her chest as she realised what Joxer meant.

"Anyway. I soon realised that there were people out there, helpless like I was, and people out there, sadistic and cruel as my Pa ever was. So as soon as I was able, I left home and..." He nodded, looking across the lake. "I just wanted to help. Help people. I mean, sure, it all started out, me runnin' away from who I was. I know I can be an idiot."

"Joxer..."

"I met you and Xena, though, and you guys really showed me, you know? That there's more to all 'a' this than looking good, being famous, all that stuff. It's more than what people think of you. It's," he shrugged, "-it's giving of yourself, so others can be happy." He ducked his head down, slapping his helmet tiredly. "Well. I better get to it." He stood up.

"Joxer." He looked down to her. "You're right. I guess I worry that one day, you... you won't just give something of yourself. You'll give all you have to give."

He shrugged. "As long as I help someone. Even a little."

With that, he trudged over to Xena. Gabrielle watched him a long moment, as Xena began to explain something to him by the lake. She'd never heard Joxer talk like that before. She knew it was no show of bravado, and it took trust for him to confide in her about his childhood. She winced, pity and sadness welling in her chest for him. The strength of it surprised her, and she felt immediately guilty for all the teasing slaps and smacks she'd given him over the years. She watched him as he listened to Xena intently. She was so very afraid for him. He was walking headlong into challenges she knew he might not walk out of. Why did the good men always do that? Why did they have to have such precarious existences? As much as Joxer also feared these things, (and she knew he did, for she'd seen him tremble in the face of danger more than once), he was still ready to lay everything down for the good of others. A dawning feeling spread through her as she finally realised the heroic side of someone she had known for years, finally looked at it for what it was, without any doubt or possibility of dismissing it as something else.

Pulling her scroll close to her, she smiled to herself, hands shaking as she tapped the tip of her quill to her tongue.

~~*~~

Xena watched him walk over and tug at his vest nervously. A kind smile spread across her lips but Joxer didn't seem to be any calmer for the expression. It was hard to believe one of the greatest warriors in Greece, if not the known world, had agreed to teach HIM to fight. He'd spent years pretending he wasn't anything less than Xena and Gabrielle as far as fighting went, but it came to the point where he couldn't pretend anymore.

They'd been through some very hard times. They'd encountered new, evil Gods, they'd faced death and new life. Things kept happening, awful and frightening things that told him that from here on, life would be different, and that it would go on being different. All of them were changed from the people they'd been years ago. He never could have imagined that the feisty little girl in the alley would grow to be the fiery warrior woman he knew now.

Xena and Gabrielle weren't slowing down and their lives weren't changing. He wanted to keep up with them, and he knew he'd have to understand fighting if that were to happen.

"Let's start on your posture," Xena said, voice business-like. "Stand up straight, Joxer. You want to start with a good balance."

He nodded, squaring his shoulders. "Sure."

"Good. Now, I'm gonna teach you some simple stuff. Don't groan - it's important you know it."

Joxer nodded, not feeling like groaning at all.

"Falling over," she said, simply.

"What about it?" he asked with a frown.

"You need to learn how to do it."

He laughed, shaking his head. "Xena, I know how to fall over. Man! I'm an expert!"

"Oh really?"

He gave a nod.

Xena nodded too. "Okay then. Think quick!"

He didn't even have time to ask her what she was talking about. Xena shoved him roughly and he toppled, his feet ending up in the air. He struggled on his back, muscles hurting, wondering what the hell had happened when a cold, sharp something pressed against his throat. He grew still.

"Woah... Xena..."

She looked at him down the shaft of her sword, lifting a brow. "You're dead, Joxer." Lifting the sword, she offered him a hand. "Yeah, you can fall over, but you're awful at getting back up again."

It dawned on Joxer what she was trying to show him. His cheeks grew red as he dusted himself off. "That's always been a tricky one for me."

"I'll help you get the hang of it. Now I want you to push me over."

He blinked at her. "You... you what?"

She sighed. "I want you to push me over. Don't make me ask you twice."

"O-okay." He took his bottom lip in his teeth, eyeing Xena's shoulders nervously. Stepping forward, he shoved her, hard as he could. She fell back, but her bottom barely touched the floor. She curled and rolled, ending up on her feet again. Her leg struck out and one of her feet hooked around his ankle, pulling at it swiftly. He tumbled over, yet again, his bottom getting another bruising. He couldn't say much, only groan. Xena offered him her hand again, and he took it, letting her pull him to his feet.

"You see what I did?" she asked him. He nodded. "That's what I'm going to teach you to do first. To roll on your butt instead of landing in a heap." Her blue eyes glinted at him and he could see the dedication there. She was serious about teaching him this stuff. It warmed him inside, and any feelings of embarrassment he might have had about what they were doing left him right then and there. Joxer nodded, waiting for Xena's word to begin.

~~*~~

Gabrielle peered at the empty scroll in front of her, her fingers twitching with energy. She had the itch, the deep, delicious tickle of inspiration. She just needed the Muses to strike, to find that spark of something that would make the energy into something real, into beautiful words. Her mind trawled through her memories, through all that she could possibly write about. Frustration mounted as she kept finding herself grasping at nothing after thinking she'd hit upon something inspiring. It was like trying to catch fish with your hands. Again and again you'd pull your hands away, water slipping through your fingers. She didn't really feel ready to tackle the scroll about her last adventure with Xena, she felt like doing something new. The Muses were very particular today.

She glanced up to Xena and Joxer, still wracking her brain. She stopped, watching them for a moment, intrigued. They were pushing at each other. Perhaps there'd be an opportunity for humour here. It'd be very funny, writing about Joxer falling on his arse. The Gods knew it worked for her scrolls before. She focused on Joxer, watching his movements, his expressions.

He was listening to Xena talk, and he nodded at her, waving his hands up and looking self-deprecating. There was something almost attractive about the movement, and Gabrielle had to glance about, just to check if perhaps Aphrodite was around, because he didn't look like a total idiot. His hair was mussed from the tumbles, and he looked healthy. There was a handsome blush in his high-boned cheeks. Tilting her head, she narrowed her eyes at him. Xena pushed at him, and he tumbled back, but he didn't fall in a heap, not immediately. His body curved, and he went with the fall, rolling away. He very nearly made it to his feet again, except he didn't quite manage the roll. His legs splayed and he fell on his bottom. Xena chuckled, shaking her head. With frustration, Joxer punched the sand, shaking his head before pulling himself up to his feet. Xena seemed to console him, and he threw his head back, shoulders pushed down in a moment of vexation. He really did have quite a nice neck. She also couldn't help notice his hands as he dusted sand off his vest. They were strong, square, even though he generally looked weedy in his regular outfit. In fact... overall, as he was now, he looked ... nice... nice wasn't the word. It was more than nice. He wasn't a God by any measure. He wasn't even a great, strong man, not to look at. Perhaps it was the eyes, his kind, gentle eyes. Something about him, at that moment, made him look truly beautiful. And how could he? With his funny nose and his rubbery lips, and hair that liked to stick out at silly angles? Whether she wanted it to or not, her heart warmed in her chest, it shuddered a little, and all because of Joxer.

She laughed at herself, trying madly to ignore the rush of heat in her cheeks. It was just the change making her think strange things, just him being different. He'd open his mouth and say something stupid again, very soon, and it'd all be back to normal, it really would. Her fingers that gripped the quill itched, and they moved on the parchment beneath them. The words they wrote were barely from her own mind, yet they called to her, poked her soul. They demanded to be answered.

_What is a hero?_

Joxer's words to her before bubbled in her thoughts. They challenged the neatly, carefully built image of the silly man she'd known all these years. They recalled all the moments she'd pushed away and ignored, all for her own sanity. All the times he did stupid things for her. All the times he looked at her with those damned eyes and showed her his very soul. Amongst all that, even his ridiculous behaviour seemed to fit, to have its place.

'I'm going mad,' she thought, 'That's it. I'm going mad. The Muses want me mad.'

Perhaps she could write something else? She pushed her mind to that and all she got was walls. Nothing. Her soul wouldn't go there. Her heart wanted to pour itself out onto the scroll. It wanted to make homage to the tumbling fool at the edge of Lake Hyrmine.

She blew a sigh through her lips, hanging her head back and looking up into the sky. "I'm not writing this," she said. "You are... Apollo or ... whatever Muse is poking me in the ass to write this damned thing. Your fault! I'll write it as long as we agree on that, okay?"

Putting her head down again, she let her quill fly. It was frightening how easy this came, how much her heart sang as she wrote. She was utterly engrossed, totally entranced. It would be a marvellous poem, probably the best she'd written yet.

There was a creaking sound of leather on the log next to her. She paid it no mind, nor the fine musky perfume that filled her nostrils.

"That's a lot of questions to put in a first stansa..."

"Shut up," growled Gabrielle, trying hard to keep her mind on the poem, a flourish of deep anger ruining her flow. "Like you know how to write a--" She blinked, catching the name that was ready to fall from her mouth. She looked up.

Ares was sitting next to her, arm propped up on his knee, face close as he was leaning in to look over her shoulder. She shuddered, crawling back along the log. He sat back, cool, calm, brow lifting in amusement.

"I've been around a while. I know a thing or two about knocking together a few words. Helps to rouse the troops." He punched his fists playfully in the air a moment.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, pulling her scroll to her chest.

He tilted his head at her, regarding her. "Assessing the present situation." Leaning forward, he reached a hand toward her scroll. "May I?"

A bemused look crawled across her face. "You want to read my poem?"

He curled his lip, lifting a nostril with it. "Why not?"

Slowly, she handed the scroll to Ares, looking at him as if he was losing his faculties. He took it, eyes going over the words. Suppressed giggles curled the corner of his lips, and he looked up at Xena and Joxer, who were currently tussling in the dirt.

"This is about him, isn't it?"

"Yes! So?" Gabrielle growled, grabbing for her scroll. "Like you'd understand anything but hate or anger!"

Ares chuckled, pulling the scroll away from her, reading out the poem in a quivering high tone, like a tragic Greek actor. "_What is a hero? Is it a lack of fear, of hate, of weakness_?"

"Damn it! Give it to me!"

Ares sniggered as Gabrielle crawled across his huge chest, reaching for the scroll he dangled in the air enticingly. "You've got a _crush_ on the dork!"

"I do NOT!" She kneed him in the gut and reached for the scroll. The action was ineffectual and only caused the God more amusement.

A throat cleared.

Gabrielle glanced up, stretched across Ares' frame, her fingers reaching for her scroll. Humiliation and embarrassment swept through the bard as she saw Xena and Joxer standing before them, stony looks on their faces. The dark warrior woman curled a lip, lithe arms folded, the anger in her eyes directed solely at Ares.

"What are you doing?"

Ares handed Gabrielle the scroll, looking rather discomfitted. Judging by his expression, this wasn't supposed to happen. He moved smoothly to his feet, moving towards Xena, who stepped backwards, hand moving to her hilt.

"No, no, I'm not here for that."

Neither Ares or Xena noticed Joxer move between the War God and the bard, as their eyes and attentions were locked solely on the other.

"That'd be a first," said Xena coolly, pulling out her sword anyway.

Ares blinked, sighing with frustration and putting his hands on his hips. His eyes lingered on the blade that she brandished, a flicker of temptation dancing in them. The fingers closest to the hilt of his sword twitched, and Xena watched all this keenly.

"What do you want?" she asked him.

Ares wrung his lips with his fingers, eyeing the blade and seeming totally lost for words. He opened his mouth, pointing at Xena, then suddenly stopped. Looking into the air next to him, he frowned.

"I'm... I'm TRYING to..." It was hard to believe, but red tinged the God's cheeks. "You've just - you've ruined it now!"

Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer stared at Ares, faces blank with confusion. The red in Ares' cheeks grew deeper as he took in their expressions.

"Damn it! Just forget it!"

With that, he disappeared in a burst of blue fire and stars. Silence blanketed the camp, stretching out for what seemed like forever as the three of them stared at the space where the War God had been only moments before. It was Gabrielle that spoke first.

"Did that just happen?"

Sheathing her sword, Xena shook her head, walking towards Argo. "I don't like this at all."

Joxer frowned, staring at where Ares disappeared. It was an oddly thoughtful expression, one that neither Gabrielle or Xena would have been used to seeing on his usually goofy face. Gabrielle questioned it with a furrow of her brows. He shrugged back at her.

"It just... it seems a little wierd... this happening when Xena's on the trail of this Mallecium guy."

"I was thinking the exact same thing," murmured Xena darkly, looking about the camp, visibly rankled by the Godly intrusion.

"What was he so interested in on that scroll anyway?" asked Joxer, turning to Gabrielle and pointing to her scroll.

"Nothing!" she said briskly, rolling it up. "Just another poem about Xena."

He nodded, a little dubiously, then looked to Xena. "Are you okay?"

It was clear that Xena was far from okay. She often didn't take visitations from the God of War well. He was one of the only people that could ruffle her cool countenance, leave her shaken, leave her altered in some way she could never quite identify.

~~*~~

He stormed through his realm, the light shuddering low in his anger, throwing aside anything that was unfortunate enough to be in his path. Lips tense, nostrils flaring, a great roar came from his throat. He could remember Xena's face, remember the look in her eyes. She thought he was an idiot, a freaking idiot! Weakness was something he couldn't abide, he couldn't stand it, not in others and not in himself. Rage rocketed through his soul, shaking him up, making his blood boil. Every time he remembered Xena's expression when he'd stuffed up any chance of a nonchalant greeting, his anger would rise and it fed upon itself like a terrible tornado. He kicked over a plinth, then punted it across the room, enjoying the crunching noise it made.

"You just HAD to pop up and screw me over, didn't you?" he shouted into thin air, smashing a vase that had the audacity to be sitting there unbroken.

Artemis burst from the aether in a rain of gold, rolling her eyes at her brother before storming to an untouched divan. "What DO you call that sort of behaviour back there, Ares?"

"I call it YOU cramping my style!" he growled, pointing a shaking finger at her.

A cold, derisive chuckle fell from Artemis, the sound like breaking crystal. "Brother, there was no style for me to cramp."

He threw a look that was not merely burning with anger. It was an entire vat of Greek fire and the spark that set it off. Artemis barely noticed. She helped herself to the wine that Ares hadn't managed to tip up with rage, shaking her head.

"My, my," she sighed. "Seems you're going to need more help than I expected."

"I don't want your help," he seethed, pacing before a display rack of frightening looking weapons, eyeing them hungrily.

"That's a shame, because you really need it."

Her voice was cold, and it made Ares' skin prickle. He turned on her, narrowing his eyes.

"Why the hell do you care? Seriously? You never gave a crap about me before now, and suddenly you're the caring sister?" He shook his head, rolling his tongue about in his mouth. "Nup, don't buy it, Art."

Standing, she gave a scoffing laugh. "I tried to break it you gently, brother, but obviously you're too painfully slow to take a hint." He cocked a brow in fierce askance. "Father has had enough."

"He sent you to me?"

She didn't say anything, just pursed her lips and looked at him pointedly.

His stomach dropped in his chest, and he gulped, looking wounded. Zeus never meddled with his personal affairs... He'd always taken it as a sign of his father's confidence in him. If he really had sent her... to sort him out... like he *needed* sorting out.

Ares was angry before. He'd hit white-hot rage now, the sort that sent him into the sort of terrifying madness that frightened mortals and made myths happen. "Well fine!" Ares roared. "Dad can come to me HIMSELF if he's got a damned problem. I'm not having you poking me in the back, tellin' me how to pick up chicks like I'm some teenaged idiot!"

Artemis snorted. "A teenager would probably have more success at a real relationship than you. All YOU know how to do is to take what you want and destroy it!"

The muscles in Ares' arms rippled as he threw them up, waving his fists at her. "I'm a WAR God! It's what I DO!" He snorted, looking at her like dirt. "And you'll pardon me if I don't take the advice of a self-confessed eternal VIRGIN to heart! At least I know what it is to enjoy someone else's body!"

This seemed to cut Artemis to the quick. No one mocked her sacred purity and lived to tell the tale. She fairly shook as she stormed at him, clenching her fists.

"Yes, you enjoy it and you LEAVE it! Ravage it and walk away, just like you do with everything in your life! You only come back to this mortal because you can't HAVE her! You'll NEVER have her! She's a conquest you've never won! I saw her spark when she was born! Not even I could control her, as much as I wanted to! Keep chasing her, you stupid, blustering fool! You will NEVER know love from her! You'll never possess her! You'll chase her like my stupid twin brother chased my darling Daphne, not stopping till you've destroyed her!" Tears made Artemis' eyes look as though they were afire. "You don't deserve her, Ares. You don't even deserve your mantle!"

Ares' eyes widened, his hand dropping to the hand of his sword, eyebrow cocking. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I'd like to see you actually DO something for humanity instead of smiting them at every chance you had!" She spat at the ground. "Waste of energy! Waste of aether! Waste of our good Father's seed!"

"You go too far," he growled.

"No, brother," she snarled. "I am the only one that will go far enough."

With that, she disappeared in a rain of shivering gold sparkles. The object of his rage was gone, and he felt a storm of ugly blackness ready to reap itself upon something. Gripping his sword, he too threw himself into the aether.

~~*~~


	4. Chapter 3: Ares Has A Tantrum

_**Chapter Three.**_

The sun had crept lower in the sky, and it set the land in a beautiful golden glow. Shards of the sweet yellow light reached through the ever-moving canopy of leaves above them, tickling them in bright fingers of warmth. The lake glimmered, and the only sounds that could be heard was the odd nicker and snort of contentment from Argo, frogs and birds living in the reeds, and the voices of Joxer and Xena as they practice sparred in the soft dirt on the huge lake shore. She showed him the basic moves she promised to. He finally got the roll she tried to teach him, and now she was teaching him defensive thinking and moving. These were things that came natural to some, but most had to be trained into it. Xena had been concerned that it would take a long time for her to teach Joxer such a thing, but he picked up on the theory of it fairly quickly. Coordination was another matter entirely though. One could be taught why such a thing is done, and how it is done fairly easily, but the physical ability, that was something that tended to completely skip some people. Unfortunately, Joxer was one of them. They'd go through a drill, Joxer would fumble and Xena would make a strike. Quizzing him afterwards was always frustrating for both of them, because he knew what he should have done, he just didn't have the natural flow and grace that Xena had.

"I'll get it, though," he said, determinedly. "I will."

"I know you will," she said, patting him on the shoulder fondly. "It just takes a little extra work for some people, that's all."

Joxer nodded, a sullen but firm look on his face. Glancing up into the sky, Xena sheathed her sword.

"Well... it'll get dark in a couple of hours. We should probably try to get dinner together and get some rest." Looking down, she met Joxer's eyes with hers and smiled. "You did good today."

There was a shade of scepticism in his eyes, and no wonder. When did anyone ever tell him that he'd done well? After a moment of meeting Xena's unguarded, warm gaze, he smiled a little, putting his sword away too.

"Cool."

With a final slap to his shoulder, she walked over to Gabrielle. The little bard was engrossed with her scroll again, oblivious to all that was going on around her, her quill quivering as it sped across the thin beaten leather. Xena tilted her head, smiling affectionately at her companion.

"Our last adventure was *that* good, huh?"

Gabrielle glanced up, the quill frozen. She looked quickly to Joxer, then grew red in the face. "Uhm, yeah, something like that." She blew on the wet ink, keeping it faced towards herself, then smiled at them as she put the scroll away. "You're done?"

"Yeah, I was saying to Joxer we should--" Xena stopped, her eyes glinting as she looked suddenly alert.

"What is it?" asked Gabrielle.

Both Joxer and Gabrielle looked about the camp, wondering what could have caught Xena's attention, since the both of them heard nothing. She turned and strode towards the beaten path through the forest that lead to their clearing, pulling her sword out of its scabbard. Gabrielle was quick to her side, grabbing her staff and having it at the ready. Joxer also followed her, pulling out his own blade.

It didn't take long for the source of Xena's alarm to make itself known. A young fellow, barely eighteen, came scrabbling through the hole in the wall of forest beyond, mousy hair wild, hazel eyes gleaming with terror. His tan skin glistened from sweat and dust caked to his feet and knees.

"Oh, thank the Gods!" he bleated, and ran straight over to Xena, hunching over and clasping her arm. "Are you the Warrior Princess?"

She nodded. "What's wrong?"

"There's a madman attacking our village!" he cried. "He's destroying everything we own! He set fire to the town hall with bolts of fire from his hands!"

Gabrielle looked to Xena, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Do you think..."

"What did this guy look like?" Xena asked the frightened young man.

"Long dark curly hair, muscles. Black leather!" He shook. "He must be a God, but why would he attack our village? We're peaceful, we're all farmers!"

Xena scowled in the direction of the pathway beyond, shaking her head slowly. "I have a fair idea. Where do you live?"

"Minoeta," the boy said.

"Has he hurt anybody?"

The boy shook his head. "No. No one."

Glancing over her shoulder, Xena exchanged a look with Gabrielle and Joxer. Gabrielle gave her a lifted brow of surprise before Xena looked back at the young man.

"I'm coming," she said to him. She turned and walked towards Argo.

"Oh, oh thank you!" cried the young man, and without further ado, he turned and ran from the clearing.

"Alone," she added, looking to Joxer and Gabrielle. The former was putting on his armour and the latter was stuffing her things into a bag.

"No way, Xena," Gabrielle said, getting to her feet and stomping over to Xena. "This is Ares we're talking about here. We're not leaving you alone to-"

"I'm safer alone," said Xena. "This is obviously about me. He hasn't killed anyone, he just wants my attention."

"Why can't he just write you a letter like a normal person?" muttered Gabrielle sullenly.

"I don't know!" gasped Xena, shrugging. "Just stay here and keep out of trouble, will you?"

"What if he hurts you?" persisted Gabrielle. "Or tries to kill you?"

"He didn't before when he saw me," said Xena. "I doubt he will now. Call it a gut feeling." Pulling Argo forward by the reins, she jumped up onto the horse swiftly. "Stay here, I mean it. If you come after me, I'm sending you away again."

A frustrated sigh came from Gabrielle, and she threw up a hand and stamped the butt of her staff into the sand. She barely had time to open her mouth before Xena had urged Argo into a gallop and sped from the clearing, disappearing into the forest beyond. After a moment of incensed silence, she turned to Joxer, who was busy pulling off the few pieces of armour he managed to get on.

"Did she just leave us behind to go take on Ares? Please don't tell me she just left us here."

Joxer shrugged. "Okay, I won't."

With a blink, Gabrielle put her hands on her hips, grinding her teeth. "Joxer!"

He looked up. "What?!" She widened her eyes at him, and he shrugged again. "Hey, I'm just telling you what you want to hear, don't get mad at me."

"You're perfectly happy to let her go off and get mixed up with Ares?"

Joxer's patience seemed to finally wear thin, and he scrunched his nose.

"Look, Xena's a big girl, she can take care of herself. If she says she can deal with this on her own, then I trust her!"

"Well I *don't*!"

"Ya don't say!" Joxer shook his head, sitting down with their things. "You're always chasing after her--"

"The number of times I've saved her life through-"

"Yeah, yeah," he nodded. "No one was hurt in that village, Gabby. Did it ever occur to you that this situation has nothing to do with a fight?"

This silenced Gabrielle. She stared at Joxer a long moment, gripping her staff. A puzzled smile came to her lips. "Joxer, what are you trying to s--"

"Look, I'm a guy. I can spot a botched attempt to ask a girl out from a mile away."

She laughed. "Ares? Engaging Xena in something other than a fight?"

"Hey, I'm just telling it how I see it, ya know?"

Gabrielle laughed harder, throwing her head back. "Like Xena would ever give him the time of day! They're enemies!"

"Not so much lately, think about it," he said. "You know, with the scroll incident? He was all friendly with us then-"

"He was mortal. He'll do anything not to get his ass kicked when he's mortal."

Joxer's brows lifted. "Yeah but he's been pretty scarce lately. He hasn't caused any real trouble since before you and Xena had your big fight and had that vision-y thing."

"Illusia," Gabrielle said.

"Right!"

This wasn't comforting her in the slightest. "Listen, Joxer. I know Xena. She wouldn't ever take Ares seriously if he - you know... it just wouldn't happen."

"Sure, but it doesn't stop Ares from trying, does it?" Joxer gave her a pointed look before digging around in the bag with all the cooking implements. "So what do you wanna eat for dinner?"

Gabrielle looked away, towards the little path in the forest, a tight sigh leaving her.

~~*~~

Under normal circumstances, it would have been a beautiful little village. It had a lovely agora for all community meetings, a long thoroughfare lined with all the essentials of a village; a butcher, an inn with a tavern, a couple of supplies shops for things people needed like weaving loom parts, pots, leather tools and the like. There were also a couple of town houses for the people living in the village and not on the farms, who ran the community centre. On a normal day children played in the street, goats gambolled about as they were herded about by teenaged shepherds who were bored with the farms and felt like a long walk, chickens would pluck at the ground and walk about contentedly.

Not so on this day. Feathers were everywhere. Pots were smashed, doors off hinges, baskets thrown awry, their contents dashed on the ground. Fire roared through the thatched roofs of some of the simpler buildings, and anything that could be thrown about in a fit of rage, had been. Clothes, food, cutlery, metal objects, all were scattered and stepped upon, torn or bent to sundry. In the distance was the frightened scream of a villager. Other than this reminder of the native population, the village was empty and eerily quiet, except for the odd maddened roar of its attacker.

She found him at the agora, pushing at a column. He was covered in dirt and dust, obviously not caring to keep himself immaculate through Godly powers. She walked to him slowly, not taking out her sword this time, merely putting her hands on her hips.

"Having fun?"

He looked up from his task, grunting. "Wait a minute."

With a final grit of his teeth, he pushed at the column, and it gave way, tilting over and smacking into the one next to it. Much to Ares' satisfaction, it smashed the next one, and it too tilted and smacked the next one after that. This domino effect went on for about six columns, until one column got stuck. Dust fell from the ceiling and Xena stepped back, eyeing the stability of the structure. Ares gnashed his teeth, tilting his head and eyeing the column. Dust continued to drift down, and Ares brought up his hands in fists.

"Come oooon...."

The column relented, crashing against the other and continuing the cascade until the whole acropolis collapsed with a great boom and crash.

He pointed at the ruins. "Now I'm having fun. That was cool."

Xena cocked a brow. "Isn't destroying innocent villages a little beneath a God of your age?"

Ares shook his head. "Not when I'm this mad." Without another word, he stormed past her, clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Ares... what's wrong with you?"

He waved a hand into the air. "What in Tartarus do you care?"

She felt a surge of anger at his petulance. "Well, for a starters, I don't like seeing people's homes destroyed just because you've had a bad day."

He whirled about, putting his hands on his narrow leather-clad hips. "Is that what's bothering you, Xena? Is that it? Well--" He nearly swore. Instead he lifted a hand and snapped his fingers. In the blink of an eye the village was restored. "Here you go! That better?" He walked about her, storming on.

She frowned and strode after him. "Not really." She was surprised at that answer, and didn't really like it. Ares musn't have either, because he stopped and looked over his shoulder at her.

"You really wanna know what's up? Hmm?"

Xena met his angry glare, steeling herself. She always needed to keep strong when she was around him. She gave him a steady nod.

"You're taking over my head. You're like a disease!" He shook his head. "Before you, all I ever needed to amuse myself was to make two big beefy armies beat the shit out of each other. I could bed any woman going and I'd be perfectly HAPPY. Not since you, no!" He shook his head. "Of course I _try_ to keep doing my thing, except I run into you in the course of my existence and it ruins it! Ruins EVERYTHING!"

It was incredibly difficult for her to keep the cool disregard on her face. Confusion stormed through her in waves, confusion and indignation. The latter won, and she cocked a lip.

"Ares, I don't know what you're up to, but pretending to be soft on me isn't-"

His eyes widened, and he tipped his head back, laughing in a way that frightened her. It was just a little mad.

"Oh man, I wish it was pretending." He pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a violent, long breath in. It was a caricature of a calming, cleansing deep breath. He looked about, a little manic, and grit his teeth. "It's not you, it's not you," he added in a tone that was almost apologetic. "Not entirely."

"What is it?" asked Xena.

He looked at her, regarding her with a tense, thoughtful wince. "Are you sure you want to know?"

She didn't know why she did it, but she nodded. In the next moment she wasn't standing in the thoroughfare of a little village.

She was in the middle of a lair very familiar to her. Luxurious blood-red satin drapes hung from dark stone walls. On plinths, here and there, were red-figure vases illustrating tales of Ares' adventures of long ago, in an age Golden. By a wall was a table heavy with food, mortal by the looks of things for it lacked the dazzling perfection of godly food. Against another was a prickly array of different kinds of weapons; daggers, swords, spears, maces, clubs, spikes, battle-axes displayed neatly in an ebony rack. Near the food were two divans and between them was a little table, with an amphora of wine and two goblets set upon it. Taking stock of her surroundings, Xena felt strangely safe.

"Make yourself comfortable," Ares said, and she noticed that he wasn't dirty and tousled anymore. He was immaculate. He could see her distrust, and he sighed. "You're safe, all right? Sit."

With a little shrug to herself, Xena walked over to a divan, sinking down onto it, eyes on him.

He walked to the food, filling a shallow bowl with cherries, large grapes and some ripe nectarines. Turning, he placed it before Xena, then collapsed onto the divan across from hers, looking up at the ceiling. He wasn't pretending to be suave, controlled or fierce. There was stress on his handsome features, and genuine hurt. Even in this state, though, he didn't look anything less than perfect. His body curved in a way that would make a sculptor weep. It was difficult for Xena not to appreciate what she saw.

"You wanna tell me what this is all about?" she asked him.

With a quick sigh, he sat up. "I was cool, I was totally cool, until that bitch mentioned Dad."

"What bitch mentioned Zeus?"

Ares looked down to the food and wine and pushed it towards Xena. "Artemis."

"You're gonna have to go back a bit," said Xena, stroking her forehead tiredly. "Why did she mention your Dad?"

His jaw bulged as he clenched his teeth together. He seemed to struggle with himself, stroking his hands against themselves, clenching them against each other, his nostrils flaring. Closing his eyes, he muttered very quickly.

"She was mocking me."

Xena recognised the difficulty Ares must have had in admitting anything of the kind. "About?"

He opened his eyes and stared dead at her.

"...Oh."

"Yeah," he nodded. "She said I wasn't doing my job."

"Well that's not true," muttered Xena, taking a goblet and looking inside of it idly. "You've been a total pain in the butt lately - people won't stop beating the crap out of each other."

Ares straightened, pursing his lips tightly. "Do you mean that?"

Cocking a lip and widening her eyes, Xena shrugged. "Of course I do. What, you think I'd blow smoke up your ass just to make you feel better?"

He nodded, looking gratified despite himself. After a moment he went on. "She was trying to get me to..." He opened his mouth, closed his eyes, wrestled with a breath. Xena lifted a brow at this and he looked incredibly embarrassed. "... ask you to dinner. She wanted me to push things with you and I."

"There is no 'you and I', Ares."

He just frowned at her.

"Why did she do this? Supposedly because you're not doing your job as a War God?" Xena looked incredulous.

"Right," Ares nodded. "I guess she does sort of have a point."

Xena felt herself quickly getting out of her depth. This was a side of the Gods she rarely saw. She never saw Ares concerned about his mantle, or his place in the cosmos. This was a good thing, it made it easy to hate him. Without that part of him, he wasn't necessary, he wasn't vital or important. He was just an annoying, violent jerk who she had to deal with every now and again. She shrugged.

"What do you mean? We fight all the time."

Ares laughed. It was the sort of laugh one gave a little child who completely mispronounced a word, speaking it with sincerity and pride. Xena didn't like that one bit.

"Oh Xena..." He shook his head. A sigh took him, and it left her uncomfortable because he looked thoughtful, and wasn't used to seeing that. "I've lost my focus. Artemis got to me, but it wouldn't have been an issue if it wasn't true. I'm not sure what she's up to but she's... she's made a good point."

"She wants you to make more war, by the sounds of things," said Xena quietly.

"That's not all I do, you know," he said, looking to her with a sidewards glance. "And I don't know if that's what she wants me to do."

Xena had never seen Ares so troubled, and she didn't know quite how to handle it. Crazy as it was, she would have found a sign of cocky arrogance a relief right at that moment.

Ares sighed. "Are you going to have some wine or not?"

She shrugged a shoulder. "I don't know what's in it."

He looked to her deadpan, a playfulness in his expression. "Fermented grape juice."

She began to look suspicious but Ares sighed.

"Xena, you really think I'd poison or drug you? You know that's not my style." He got up and sat next to her, pouring her a wine and handing the goblet to her. "Drink."

She felt a little stupid for a moment, but then reminded herself that with Ares, she should be surprised about nothing. The repeating of her mantra 'Never trust him' was always in the back of her mind. Thanking him, she took the goblet, trying to ignore his proximity. The wine was good. Really, really good. She relaxed into the divan, making an effort to ignore her leg pressing against his. It made her skin burn.

"You know... you're pretty relaxed for a mortal who's just been told that they've gained the deepest affections of a God..."

The burning slipped into her bones, and she looked away, talking suddenly difficult. "That's because I don't believe you."

"Oh, I don't trash towns in frustration for just anyone, Xena..."

"A normal person would buy me flowers," she said dryly, avoiding his eyes.

"Somehow I don't think that'd help the situation."

"No, but it'd be a nice surprise." She couldn't help but glance to him, eyes glittering playfully.

What was she doing? Was it the slow smoulder in his voice, or the way he looked at her, as if he'd unveiled something behind his eyes? He gave a sigh, tilting his head at her.

"What could I possibly do to convince you?"

She wasn't sure if he was being rhetorical or not. Her body melted to the divan and she pursed her lips.

"You could give me a break for once... if it's not some warlord, there's some king hankering for a war..." She drifted off as she saw Ares' eyes twinkle. "What?"

Snapping his fingers, he pointed at her. "You're brilliant. That's it."

"Huh?"

"I'll have some time off."

"Time off?" Her nose wrinkled as she looked incredulous. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'll step out of my mantle," he said, getting to his feet and rolling his shoulders confidently. "It'll be a break for both of us. Me, a mortal human, kicking back... You can spend the day with me."

"Hah... are you crazy?!" hissed Xena, jumping to her feet and stepping to him. "Don't you remember what happened the last time you were mortal?"

"Now, that wasn't planned," he said, wagging a finger. "And it was weeks on end. No... a day or so won't be a problem."

"But anything could happen to you! What if you're killed?!"

"Hades will have my back," he said with a touch of arrogance. "Without me, his days would be incredibly dull."

She curled a lip in disgust for a moment, but the gravity of the situation came back to her. This was complete and total madness. What was he thinking? Could she even tell? Perhaps it was a trick, some way to get her to slip into his charms? She edged close to him, narrowing her eyes.

"I don't know what you're trying to pull here, Ares, but I'm not fallin' for it."

Impatience seemed to crack Ares' composure, as he waved an arm and growled.

"Damn it to Tartarus, Xena, will you just shut up and accept the freakin' gesture?!"

What could she say? She blinked, mouth working silently for a moment. Somehow she'd not noticed how close she was standing to him, but now, now she was most certainly aware. She could smell that exotic, musky scent that only the Gods exuded, and his energy came off him in heady waves.

"But you hated being mortal," she said. "I remember distinctly that you couldn't stand it..."

"Sure, but wouldn't it be worth it?" He tipped his head. "I know what I'm getting myself into here, Xena. I'm choosing it for you."

At that moment, her lungs couldn't draw breath, all she could do was fight to keep hold of her self control. _Logical thoughts, Xena... keep your head..._ How was it he knew what to say to her?

She narrowed her eyes, trying to ignore the lack of distance between them. "Are you sure you should do something like this while Artemis is on your tail?"

"Ahhh, she wouldn't do anything heavy. Ruin a couple of my temples, maybe." He tipped his head with a shrug of a shoulder. "We Gods have rules about that sort of thing. Besides, I'm putting my Godhood somewhere new this time." Winking at her, he withdrew his sword.

"All right," she said. "I'll agree to this on one condition..."

He lifted a brow in askance.

"You apologise to Gabrielle... get her a present or something."

He snorted. "For what?"

She pressed her mouth into a thin line. "You were making fun of her poem about Joxer."

Ares frowned. "How did you know it was about-"

She eyed him dangerously. "Ares..."

Rolling his eyes, Ares nodded. "All right, all right." Pointing to her, he waved a hand. In her arms appeared a lute, a plugged amphora and a little parcel of something wrapped in silk. She bent under the sudden weight, juggling till she had them all.

Without another word, he walked over to a large altar on the other side of the room. It was bedecked with skulls, black and red candles, and a large relief plaque on the wall of black and silver, a giant replica of the amulet that he wore about his neck. Stretching out his hand, a satin pillow appeared below it on the altar.

"That'll do," he said.

She followed him, holding tight the things in her arms. Her stomach jumped inside her as he brought forward the blade. He couldn't be doing it, he really couldn't.

"Are you sure about this?" she murmured, stepping forward.

"Trust me," he replied, a reassuring curl to his lips.

~~*~~

The sparkling temperate day had mellowed into a gilded afternoon. Everything the late sun shone upon looked as if it were coated in gold, and the lake glittered, whispering sweetly as it lapped against the shore. Despite all the beauty about them, the pair at the camp were tense. Gabrielle had the bag of cooking things and was digging through it, a little wrinkle of annoyance in her brow. Joxer was beyond the pelts and the little fire they had going, muttering to himself and lifting his arms up, one after the other, practicing his defensive moves.

"Joxer," said Gabrielle. "Have you seen the cooking knife? I swear it was in here..." He didn't hear her. He was ducking against an invisible opponent. "Joxer!"

The lanky man blinked, and lowering his arms, he looked at her.

"Oh, uhm... no. Sorry."

"If it's in one of the saddle bags, I'll kill Xena." She sighed, folding her arms. Xena had been gone far too long. Hours now. If Ares had done anything to her, anything at all...

"So what are we going to be eating?" asked Joxer, trudging over to the camp and sitting on the pelt next to Gabrielle. "Rabbit? Deer, if we can find one?"

"Fish," said Gabrielle, as if it should be obvious. "I can't put it off any longer. I was hoping Xena would be back and we could do it together."

"Well, I have a hook and line in my things," said Joxer, scratching his neck.

"I've got a better way," said Gabrielle, and standing, she pulled at the laces of her little green top. "You better go looking for some more kindling and branches."

His eyes went wide as he realised what kind of fishing she meant. A blush in his cheeks, he shot to his feet, pointing a thumb over his shoulder, towards the woods.

"Yeah, I'm going to go - do that."

Without another word, he hurried into the woods, doing his best to think about anything other than Gabrielle stripping down to her birthday suit and leaping into the cold lake. It was a very difficult task. He wondered if it should have been a task of Hercules. Beating up on a scary boar or cleaning out a stable... sure, it'd be hard work. Not thinking of the diminutive strawberry-blonde bard peeling off her already tiny outfit and then getting all wet and goose-pimply? Impossible. There would be pretty little drops of water on that lightly tanned skin... She would be like a mermaid.

"Damn it," he mumbled to himself, bending and grabbing some wood. "Think of something *else*!"

He heard a splash from beyond, and his heart beat faster. Torture. Sweet, delicious torture. Pressing his lips together, he strode on noisily into the wood, grabbing sticks and branches as he went. Anything not to think about Gabrielle like that. He didn't want to be walking back in an embarrassing condition. He muttered as he went, anything to keep his mind empty.

"Alpha, beta, gamma, delta..."

Somehow his mind drifted back to the talk they had in Halyphos, outside the tavern. He'd think of it now and again, hold onto it just like he held on to every other moment where she wasn't hitting him or talking to him like he was thick. Yes, she cared about him. Somewhere, under the bad temper and impatient glances laid sympathy and affection. It wasn't much, and he knew it wasn't what he wanted, but it was better than nothing. He'd be happy with all she could give.

"Joxer, you're pathetic," he sighed, "A complete loser."

Yet... there was something her eyes as they had joked about after that serious moment. The way he so easily brought a smile to her face (which made his heart soar higher than Daedalus ever could), the way they were so relaxed with each other, but amongst the familiarity was a spark of something, a tender, unexplored place that made him dizzy to think of.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been wandering around, grabbing sticks and branches. It wasn't until the sky grew darker and the pile of wood in his arms past his chin that he realised he might have been gone a while. He turned, stretching his neck to see over the armful of kindling, and stomped back towards camp.

~~*~~

Wrapped up tightly in a woolly blanket, Gabrielle hid from the slight chill that was creeping into the air. Now and then she'd swear under her breath. She asked him to go for a little walk, to give her time to get into the water, grab the fish, and get out. He'd been gone nearly an hour and a half. The silly, ridiculous man. With a sigh, she gazed at the tree canopies that reached above her from the wood, at the pretty pink shade the sky was turning.

Why was she so rough on him? She asked herself that sometimes. Usually she'd dismiss the question to make herself feel better. He was a hopeless dork, he asked for it. That excuse always made everything okay but today it wasn't working. Every time she settled on that answer, a flicker of memory would play in her mind. His eyes, dark, warm, brown, looking right into her and making her feel naked, even though it was he who was bearing his soul to her in that gaze.

"I'm going nuts," she muttered, scratching behind her ear.

A crash of footsteps came from the woods, and grabbing her staff, she jumped to her feet.

"Who goes?"

"Me! It's just me!"

Out of the brush and bushes staggered Joxer, his quarry of firewood past his face. It was a miracle he didn't trip and fall over.

"Joxer!" she gasped, trying not to laugh. "...Why?!"

He dropped the wood by the tree they were sleeping under with a clatter, and Gabrielle saw his cheeks were red. "Uhh... you know. Didn't want to walk back, see you all nude."

"Okay..." She tilted her head, then chuckled, shaking it. "That's very thoughtful of you."

Kneeling by the wood, she began to pick out some good, dry pieces. Joxer sat on his pelt next to hers, leaning over and looking at the fish she had laid out in front of the fire.

"Wow... you did good."

"That lake is jumping," she said. "You just got to know where to look."

"I guess Xena taught you that?" he asked.

"Sure, she's taught me a lot of things."

He nodded, then looked back to the fire. It was strange, watching him by the fire as she stoked it. There was something about him today that left her feeling uncomfortable. Perhaps it was that out of his armour, she was noticing that he wasn't that unattractive. As he rubbed his hands before the fire, and held them out, she saw the ripple of biceps, and a blush came to her cheeks. The air was thick, hot. Perhaps she put too much wood on the fire?

This was stupid! Ridiculous! Grabbing the fish, she laid them out on a flattened bunch of olive leaves.

"I need to scale and gut these suckers..." She went to the cooking bag and dug about inside. "Damn it! The knife..."

He hadn't heard her. He was still rubbing his hands idly, looking up into the sky.

"Joxer, have you got a dagger?"

"Uhh, no," Joxer said. "I lost mine throwing it at someone."

"Great," she said, rolling her eyes. This was normal, this was good. He was annoying her. "Give me your sword."

A little incredulous frown flickered on his face, and the corner of his mouth lifted. "No."

With a blink, she looked to him. "Did you say no?"

"I said no," he said, nodding, half-smiling. "It's been in the family for years... I don't want fish guts stuck to it."

"I'll clean it!" said Gabrielle, turning and walking over to him. "I need to prepare the fish!"

"I'm sure we've got something else," he said, looking over to their bags. "Like a fork or a spike or something..." He got up, trudging over to their things. Kneeling in front of them, he dug about. "The knife has to be here somewhere..."

"Co-o-ome on Joxer," she said, toeing her way over to him, smiling with as much charm as she could muster. "Let me use your sword."

He laughed. "No! No way... you'll ruin the finish."

She shot a sigh of frustration through her nostrils, looking over to where his sword was. Taking a breath, she made a decision. In a moment she dashed to his armour and sword, grabbing the weapon in its precious scabbard and running to the other side of the camp.

"Gab!" he yelped, jumping to his feet.

"Unless you like your fish scaly and gutty, this is the only choice!" she cried, eyes gleaming.

He came after her, and she ducked the other way around the fire.

"That's it!" he growled, playfully. "Gimme it!"

"No!"

Darting to the right, the bard ran towards the fish. He shot forward, and by some miracle, he actually caught her. They tumbled, legs akimbo, and he managed to get his fingers around the scabbard. She wriggled on top of him, pulling at the scabbard doggedly.

"Joxer!"

"Not--happen--ing!"

"Grrr!"

Glancing from their tangled hands, Joxer looked to her face. There was a handsome blush in her cheeks, her eyes locked on the sword. Her damp hair brushed his face, and he could make out the smell of sandalwood. His heart thumped heavily in his chest... she was so close, she felt so very good on top of him. He felt limp and inflamed all at once, and panic gripped him at what this meant.

"Erm... take it."

"What?"

"Take it!" he said again, almost bleating. "Here!" He shoved it in her hands, but she didn't move.

Her green eyes searched his, a little bemused dent in her brow. They travelled down, and a blush darkened her cheeks. She gave a little smile and pushed herself up off of him.

"Thanks, Joxer."

He shook his head, rolling away. "It's okay."

A very long dip in the lake was well in order.

~~*~~


	5. Chapter 4: Mortal Coil

_**Chapter Four**_

Very little could unnerve the Warrior Princess. Reality warping about her and swirling into a shimmering gateway - that was worth a raised eyebrow. Stepping through it before it closed and left her and her Godly companion behind, that was sort of like having her brain peeled back. It was if all continuity had a skin, and she slipped through it, like slowly being dipped into water. She didn't step directly to where she was going, either. For a moment they floated in something totally other... she couldn't find words for it. It was the current under the surface of the water. The reflection was gone and you couldn't hold it or control it, only feel it and drown in it. The strong male presence next to her urged her on - he knew what was happening.

Like a cork from a bottle, they popped out the other side.

Wrapping her arms about her quarry, she tumbled to the ground. There was a thump, a grunt and a groan beside her. She sat still for a moment, taking stock of where she was. There was the sound of people talking, the odd bleat and snort of a farm animal, and below her was the pressed dirt of a road. They were back in Minoeta.

Slowly, she rolled over, sitting up. The amphora, the lute and the little package were fine. Glancing about her, she saw that they'd landed in the same square they'd disappeared from.

"Ow... Ow-ow..."

Ares lay on his back in the middle of the road, staring into the sky, brown eyes wide.

"What?"

"I think..." He winced. "I think I hurt my back..."

Xena smirked. "Congratulations."

Slowly, he rolled to his feet. Xena followed suit, leaving the gifts on the ground and stepping over to him.

"Here... let me have a look..." She ran her hands swiftly over his back, shoulders, arms. With a swift slap on his arm, she walked around him. "You're fine. Nothing a good walk won't fix."

The erstwhile God nodded. Looking up at his mussed up long curls, she had to smile, even if it was a small curt one. A dry leaf was in his hair, and she plucked it out deftly, shaking her head. A fascinated look flittered over his face, and he held the lock of hair between his fingers, pulling it gently. He clenched his jaw then, sighing.

"Everything is so damned vivid," he said. "It feels nothing like it does when I'm a God."

"Enjoy it," said Xena.

He nodded, not looking convinced that anything could be enjoyed at all. The lock of hair that had been tugged slipped down over one of his eyes, and he almost look like a disgruntled puppy.

"Here," she said, moving a little closer. Gently, she brushed the lock behind his ear with her fingertips.

He seemed to melt, eyes drifting shut, leaning towards her touch, her hand so close to his cheek. Opening his eyes, he looked down to her hand, cupping it in his. Moving closer to him was like breathing... it seemed vital, necessary.

She felt her heart thumping madly in her chest, that familiar old desire bubbling deep within her. _Remember who this is_, she told herself, _don't let him get to you!_

"M-maybe some other time," she murmured, her voice betraying her and sounding husky. Relief flushed through her body as he sighed and let go of her hand.

She watched Ares look about himself. His black warrior leathers were gone, a much more comfortable set of clothes on his sculptural frame. A soft, dark brown sleeveless vest was tied about the middle with a fetching dark blue, black and brown patterned wrap of material. On his legs was a dark pair of pants, tucked into sturdy knee-high boots, scuffed and nondescript. Around his shoulders was a cloak with a hood, and at his hip was a very ordinary looking sword. The only thing that betrayed his Godly nature was his amulet, pristine and gleaming, nestled against his chest. _A link back, perhaps? _she thought.

With a quick breath, she smacked a fist into her cupped palm.

"Come on! Let's go."

He glanced to her. "Where are we going?"

"Back to camp," said Xena, picking up the gifts off the ground. She handed them to Ares. "Gabrielle and Joxer will be wondering where I am."

Ares groaned. "Oh great. Two people I am just *dying* to see..."

"Love me, love my friends, Ares," said Xena, tugging on his goatee with a smirk before going to find Argo.

~~*~~

The fish weren't big enough for a spit, so Gabrielle wrapped them in leaves after scaling and buried them in coals. It was enough to distract her from Joxer for a time, and she was thankful for it. He kept himself occupied by practicing the moves that Xena had taught him earlier. His huffing and muttering melted into the rest of the noises in the early evening; the birds in the rushes, the tinkling water lapping on the sand.

Joxer grew tired of his exercises, though, and he trudged over and sat down next to Gabrielle, seemingly in a good mood.

"How's the fish?"

"In the coals," she replied. "Should be ready in a little while."

He nodded, and leaned back against the tree behind them. He gave a contented sigh, putting his hands behind his head.

"This is nice," he said. "It's nice."

"It is," she said, concentrating on keeping the embers glowing.

A strange warmness welled in her stomach. Somehow, it _was_ nice. It was so quiet, and it was just the both of them. Other than Xena's absence, and the mission with Mallecium, there wasn't much to worry about. It was a calm, quiet dusk. It was different to when it was just she and Xena. Perhaps it was because they didn't do this often, there was novelty. Her heart was lighter for some reason, untethered. It was so very strange. The entire situation... it fit. It felt right, and it scared her to Tartarus and back.

Joxer began to hum a song, gazing out onto the lake. His foot tapped, and a little smile curled his lips.

"Joxer, what are you singing?" Gabrielle said shortly, trying not to snap and ruin the lovely evening.

"Oh, you know... it's that new song they've been singing in the taverns lately. It's funny. It's about the crazy old widow and the guy with the peg leg and the dog with one eye..."

Gabrielle rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Gods. People will sing anything."

"Yeah," said Joxer, nodding. "It was pretty funny, the song... gets stuck in your head. Not epic material, though."

Amusement and incredulity curled about in her chest like a tickling snake.

"And what would you consider 'epic'?"

He shrugged, looking up into the sky. "Orpheus and Eurydice... that's a beautiful song. I really like it."

She blinked, suddenly at a loss for anything to doubt or disagree with. She was expecting him to mention his own song that he wrote about himself. Smiling, she looked down to her lap, fiddling her fingers.

"It is..."

"Mom used to sing it to me," he said, quietly. "She taught it to me and my brother..."

"Jett sang?" Gabrielle said, dubiously.

"Oh, no, no-no..." Joxer shook his head. "My other brother."

"How many brothers do you have?"

"Just two," he said. "Mom said we sounded like little angels when we sang." He shrugged, a little smile on his face. "I think she was being nice to us. To me, anyway."

"I don't know," she said, shrugging a shoulder. "You have a strong voice. Maybe if you hold back a bit... or sing a different song? I've never heard you sing anything other than your song..."

Joxer looked suddenly bashful. "Dad always said that singing was for... you know..." His cheeks got very red. "For wimps."

Anger flared in Gabrielle's chest. "Pfft. Your father is an idiot. Xena sings."

"Xena could kick anyone's ass this side of Olympus," Joxer said wryly.

"You know, I bet you could sing that song nicely if you tried," said Gabrielle, a strange new determination in her heart. She turned from the fire, sitting in front of him. "Do you know that song well enough to sing it now?"

Those brown eyes grew soft, frightened, and he tilted his head. "You really want to hear me sing it?"

"Sure... why not?"

"Will ya laugh if I make a mistake?"

"Do you laugh if I've made a spelling mistake in my scrolls?" He shook his head with a knowing smile. "Right!" Reaching forward, she pinched his chin between her fingers affectionately, a playful admonishment.

A hot bolt of something wriggled through her body from the point that she touched him, and her palms ached for contact. She blushed, a little smile on her face that she couldn't quite control. Any moment he'd puff up, she knew it, and act like a jerk. Glancing up, she checked his expression. He was gazing at her with wonder, a tenderness in his eyes that rocked her. A yawning sensation took her... how much did he hide? Who was this man? Who was he really?

A rustling and the chatter of voices registered in Gabrielle's mind, and pulling herself away from Joxer's gaze, she looked to the path through the wood beyond. One of the voices was very familiar, and sounded exasperated. Relief shot into her heart.

"Xena!" she gasped, jumping to her feet. Joxer got up too, gulping.

The relief collided with shock and confusion as she saw Ares come out from the wood behind her. He had a bundle of things in his arms and an unhappy look on his face.

"Just shut up about your feet hurting," growled Xena with finality to Ares, before turning her attention to Gabrielle. The little bard rushed to her, embracing her tightly.

"I was worried," said Gabrielle. "Are you all right?"

"She's fine," scowled Ares, walking towards the camp. "I, however, have blisters, I'm sure of it."

Gabrielle frowned. "Blisters?"

Xena rolled her eyes and followed Ares. "He's mortal for a bit, and he's joining us."

Ares dropped unceremoniously to the ground, dumping the gifts on the pelt he sat on and beginning to warm his hands by the fire.

The bard snorted and rolled her eyes. "Geez, Xena. Is there anyone else you want to invite on this mission? I'm sure Hercules hasn't heard about it yet."

"Gabrielle..." droned Xena in warning.

"And did you say mortal?" added the bard. She looked to Ares. "Do you just let anyone take your Godhood or are you deliberately trying to lose it forever?"

Ares shook his head at her. "I didn't think it could happen... but you've become even *more* obnoxious since the last time I saw you."

"Ares!" Xena gave him a warning glare, then looked to Gabrielle. "He has his reasons," said Xena suddenly, looking a little red in the cheeks. Moving over the Ares, she nudged him in the thigh with the toe of her boot. "Go on."

Rolling his eyes, the mortal God picked up the gifts again and grunting his way to his feet, he held them out to Gabrielle, a stubborn curl to his lips.

"Here... take these!"

The bard blinked. "What?"

"They're for you!" he said, shoving them forward and into her arms.

Gabrielle took them, teetering on the spot. Joxer stood, helping her by taking the lute and the amphora.

"What are these for?" she asked, a little dent of confusion in her brow.

"For uhm, teasing you," he said. He waved a hand. "Don't thank me. In fact, it'd be best if you just forgot about it entirely."

She gave a smile, looking down to the things. "... Ares! I-"

"I said don't thank me," he said, shortly. "I meant it."

With an uncertain nod, Gabrielle turned and placed the little wrapped parcel she'd received in their pile of things. From behind her came a sweet sound, a perfect progression of notes in harmony, sounding as if they were plucked from sunbeams. Then came a gasp. She turned to see Joxer cradling the lute, a disbelieving wrinkle in his brow.

"What?"

"This lute," he breathed. She'd never seen him so moved. "It's... it's..."

"Handmade by my flaky bro," provided Ares, lying back on the ground and getting comfortable on the pelt.

Joxer now looked stunned. "Y-you mean... Apollo made this?"

"Yeah," Ares sighed, looking bored. "He gave it to me in one of his failed attempts to bring out my 'creative' side..."

Gabrielle snorted. "You? A creative side? That's a laugh!"

"Hey!" protested Ares. "I can sing!"

"But you don't," said Xena tiredly. She nudged Ares with her foot again. "Come on, you. I've got to go scouting about after Mallecium, then visit Minoeta to make sure your little tantrum this afternoon didn't cause any lasting psychological damage to the villagers..."

Grunting, Ares pulled himself to his feet, as if he were carrying a terrible burden. "As long as we can go get a few drinks at some tavern after business," he said.

Xena rolled her eyes. "All right."

The little bard pulled Xena aside, a wrinkle of concern in her brow. "Xena... are you sure you can trust him? I mean, it *is* Ares..."

"And he's mortal," she said, dryly. "Until he gets his Godhood back, he'll be sticking to my side like glue. Don't worry, Gabrielle. I have it under control. It's Mallecium I'm concerned about." She looked beyond to Joxer, and smiled. "You stay here with Joxer, enjoy yourself for once."

Gabrielle squirmed. "How can I do that, when you're out there in possible danger?"

"Are you kidding?" Xena smirked. "Scouting out war camps, planning defences? I'll be enjoying myself. I expect you to as well."

"Enjoying yourself?" said the bard with doubt. "With Ares?"

"Why not?" Xena shrugged. "I've always wanted to drink a War God under the table."

The both of them laughed, and Gabrielle hugged Xena briefly in a bracing hug.

"You take care of yourself, then."

"I always do," said Xena, turning and joining Ares, who looked very pleased with himself.

His assured look slipped off his face as Xena walked past Argo.

"Aren't we taking the horse?" he asked her.

She frowned. "What for? It's only a couple of miles to Minoeta..."

His face wrinkled as he visibly held in a groan, and his shoulders slumped as he sighed. "Fine..."

"Gods... it's a short walk, you big girl..." Xena shook her head.

Ares followed Xena down the path, glancing over his shoulder at Gabrielle and Joxer as they left. He winked at them, trying to regain some of his nonchalance. "Don't wait up for us, kids."

Tilting her head, Gabrielle sent him a withering smile, but he was already gone. She growled.

"Jerk."

This wasn't missed by Joxer. The man just let out a disbelieving laugh.

"That's a jerk that just gave you the most beautiful lute I've ever laid eyes on..." He shook his head, strumming chords idly. Even though they were simple ones he picked out, they seemed to shiver in a bright, happy harmony, as if capturing the sunset that had crept into a mellow dusk. Not even Gabrielle, in her agitated state, could deny the beauty of the instrument. She gave him a smile.

"Keep playing it," she said. "It sounds good."

Joxer smiled back at her. He watched her as she knelt, lifting up the little parcel.

"I wonder what's in this?" she asked.

"Have a look," said Joxer. Unwrapping the bound cloth, Gabrielle let out a little cooing sound. "What is it?"

"Sweetmeats," said Gabrielle. "Sugared dates... toffee... ohhh, dried and sugared grapes!"

"Nice." He gave a little laugh. "Ares must have really wanted to impress Xena."

"Yeah," agreed Gabrielle, a troubled look on her face. "Why, though? Why all this sudden attention on Xena?"

"He's always bothering her," said Joxer, eyes fixed on the lute as he tested out different chords on it. "Talk about obsessed!"

"Joxer, you're not helping!" She looked suddenly frazzled.

"Why don't you just relax?" he said. "I'll play you a nice song. Xena's off having a good time, we should have one too."

It went against her better judgement. Yet didn't Xena say for her to enjoy herself? There had been a twinkle in the Warrior Princess's eyes as she let Gabrielle know of her plans. This was all something different, something new. Perhaps that's why it bothered the little bard so much.

_It's that change thing again,_ she thought darkly.

All she had to do was wait for Xena to come back, and hope that she didn't strangle Joxer in the interim. As long as he kept playing the lute and not talking, she was sure this would be a possibility. He kept saying things that made her fret, made her think about things she didn't want to think about. She glanced to him.

In the dying light of the dusk, with the glow of the fire warming his face, he looked the most at peace and least inept she'd ever seen him. He held the lute like it was always supposed to be there, and she wondered why he ever picked up the sword at all. _His father_, she thought. How terrible must that man have been, to rob the world of such a talent?

_What am I thinking?_ she wondered. _This is Joxer! Not Orpheus himself!_

A little thought crept into her mind. Perhaps he *could* have been as good as Orpheus, if he hadn't had that love of music beaten out of him since childhood. Sighing, she put her attention back to the fish under the coals of the low fire. She had to hand it to the guy. As simple as he might have seemed, he sure was complicated once you knew him.

~~*~~

Wind eddied and chased itself through the ruined, abandoned temple. It picked up leaves and swirled them around before abandoning them and whisking on its way. The air was heavy, the light sombre. Only a few shards made it through the dilapidated ceiling, cutting through the grey and splashing a few spots of gold upon the dirty, dusty floor.

It was a temple for an old God, one of Zeus' predecessors. Perfect for the emergence of a new Goddess. Artemis appeared within the dead space, bringing life within with the gold sparkling of her energies.

"This is the place," she murmured to herself.

Reaching forward her hands, she pooled her energy, battering the wall between worlds. After a moment she felt another energy working back at her, and she grinned.

"Yes, yes, my child. Fight your way through..."

The thin film of reality bulged, twisted, glowed. Fingers reached forward out of the white centre, followed by gauntleted arms, wiry shoulders and blonde hair. The body finally dropped down onto the ground with an elated scream.

"Well... we *are* melodramatic..."

The lithe, lethal Goddess was curled up on the floor. Lifting her head, large brown eyes took in her surroundings. They settled on the other Goddess before her, a fascinated look on her face.

"You're a Goddess... but which one?" Slowly, she lifted herself up off the floor, taking in every detail of Artemis' appearance. "Weapons… bow and arrow. Good physique… you must be Artemis."

"Callisto," said Artemis, stepping forward.

Callisto looked about herself, then back to Artemis, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"To what do I owe this little pleasure?" she asked, stepping about the Goddess.

"I heard about you from my Amazons," said Artemis. "They said you were terrible, and that you knew Xena, knew how to hurt her."

"So?"

"I want you to help me," said Artemis. "You're the only one I trust to do the job properly."

"What job would that be?"

The Goddess didn't answer the question. She looked ready to launch into a heady speech Homer would have gotten his quill ready for.

"Your birth was a special one," Artemis said, standing still as the blonde stalked about like an anxious cat. "Xena ruined what was to be a remarkable life-"

"-if you want me to take out Xena, you don't have to convince me," said Callisto, looking over her shoulder nonchalantly. "So... what *did* she do to tick you off so badly?"

"She has committed many crimes against me," said Artemis, discomfitted. "But that alone is not why I punish her. My brother wants her above all other mortals."

"Oh, it's an Ares thing, is it?"

Artemis went on, ignoring Callisto's interruption. "If I can destroy her utterly, in a way that means she would never be able to come back to the world of the living..."

"Never come back?" Callisto tilted her head. "Well... that'll be fun. What I want to know is why you need *me* to do it. Aren't you a Goddess yourself?"

Artemis sighed. "Yes, well, I suppose I could eliminate Xena myself. It would cause plenty of pain for my idiot brother, but I really want to get the most out of this..." She shook her head. "You... you bring Xena pain. You are her biggest regret, I think. Her biggest failure as a human being."

"Gee, thanks," said the blonde warrior with a wrinkle of her nose.

The Goddess of the Hunt turned, watching Callisto look supremely bored. She walked to the girl, brushing a lank tress of hair behind her ear fondly.

"I remember you as a child," she said tenderly, sadly. "Running amongst the forest, under the boughs of my beautiful trees. You were like a young doe. Strong and delicate. And Xena ruined you without a second thought."

"She ruined my family," said Callisto, both coldly and airily. "She _created_ me."

"Yes..." Artemis frowned. "You weren't as was intended..."

"Oh, I must be *such* a disappointment," she said, turning on Artemis.

"No," said Artemis, a soft look on her face. "You're not at all." She moved towards the young woman. "Your fate is unwritten, Callisto."

"I know," sighed Callisto, shoulders sagging. "I do wish it was written." Tilting her head, Artemis looked at her questioningly. "Say I do this task for you," said Callisto, pulling out her sword and gazing at its point thoughtfully. "And it *will* be enjoyable, so the chances of me doing it are strong... what are you going to do for me?"

"What do you want me to do for you?"

Those haunted, empty brown eyes met hers. "End it all."

"End what all?" Artemis looked a little disturbed.

"Everything," said Callisto, desperation edging her tones. "For me. I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to be dead. I don't want exist at all. I want to feel nothing - absolute nothing!"

"I- I can't!" gasped Artemis, stepping back. "It's not my place!"

"You said my fate was unwritten!"

"Yes, but this is a matter for the Fates, my child, the Kindly Ones." Artemis shook her head. "No, no I cannot interfere."

"But you'll end it all for Xena?" snarled Callisto. "How does THAT work?"

"She has wronged me!" exclaimed Artemis. "It is within my rights. Just because I am a Goddess does not mean I am able to do as I please!"

The blonde warrior snorted, turning away, pacing angrily.

"I don't understand you," continued Artemis. "If you dislike this life, why did you become a Goddess?"

"Why not? I was already immortal. I thought it had to be better than living forever. I was wrong." She sighed, shaking her head. "I don't know what's worse... the pain, the full, unadulterated pain of mortality, having all you love ripped away from you... or feeling absolutely nothing at all..." A curious curl took her open lips, and a manic cackle fell from her. She covered her mouth, giggling. Tears were in her eyes as she calmed herself, and she stepped back to Artemis, stroking her arms, that desperation back. "It's all I ask, Artemis... oblivion."

Artemis tilted her head, bringing the backs of her fingers up to the blonde warrior's scarred cheek. "What I think you need, Callisto, is some purpose." Callisto looked at Artemis questioningly. "A mantle? Somewhere to direct all that wonderful power?"

"What *are* you suggesting?"

"Couldn't you just imagine it?" said Artemis, a mischievous curl to her lips. "His Godhood gone... his woman destroyed and gone from this world? It would be Tartarus for him..."

"Oh... THAT has to be against a few rules," said Callisto.

"Revenge, Callisto, is something we Gods take very seriously. It is also something that lout of a War God has earned..."

"I'll help you," said Callisto, tilting her sword to watch it gleam in the sparse bands of sunlight that stole into the dark space. "But if I'm not satisfied with the Mantle of War... I'm going to get rid of it, and I want the oblivion I asked for."

With a shrug of her shoulder, Artemis inclined her head regally. The Goddess of the Hunt was always very pleased when things went to plan.

~~*~~

A few days before he had been confident, but something tickled at his senses. Three villages lay along his route, ready for domination. They were poor, but they made a lot of food - food to feed more soldiers. Expanding his forces was invaluable. He might have even been able to take a few trade towns if he could do that. More food, more weapons. It was perfect, and most worryingly of all - it was easy.

That's what concerned him. There should have been someone popping up to stop him by now. Hercules, Xena, or some other stupid fool who fancied themselves a doer of good. He knew they should have been about, causing him trouble. The quiet was a bad sign, he'd bet his mother's teeth on it.

He continued to ponder and think, looking down at the map on the table in front of him. His command tent was bedecked with the spoils of their last campaign, reminders of his victories. They told him he was a great commander, that he could do anything he put his mind to. His red hair was straggled, at angles, his face dirty and scarred, his clothes and armour worn. Next town, he would have a real good clean up, buy some new clothes and get his hair trimmed.

The leather flap of the door whisked open, and one of his commanders walked in, doing a brief salute.

"What is it?" asked Mallecium.

"Scouts came back from the surrounding villages. No sign of Xena or Hercules, Sir. There was a big fella that made a bit of a fuss... black leather, might have been a God. But he seems to have moved on now."

Narrowing his eyes, Mallecium tilted his head thoughtfully. "Is that so?"

The commander nodded.

"You investigated this fully, I see?"

"I left some of our men there to keep an ear out, find out more," said the commander.

"Good," grunted Mallecium. "I have a feeling there's more that we don't know about... something's going on, that's for sure." The commander nodded, a little stupidly. Mallecium sighed at him tiredly. "You can go."

The commander bowed and scurried out of the tent.

Looking down at his map again, Mallecium took a rock that weighed down the corners and placed it on the dot that marked Minoeta. He would keep his eyes and ears on that little town.

~~*~~


	6. Chapter 5: Scouting Mineota

_**Chapter Five**_

Xena had thought Joxer the whiniest travelling companion she'd ever experienced, followed closely by Gabrielle. She loved them, but if the going were tough, they would let her know how much they didn't like it. She hadn't reckoned on travelling with a God become mortal. If it wasn't his feet, or his sides stitching up, he was thirsty, or he'd bitch about them not taking the horse. They'd travelled through the wood towards Pelennos, much to Ares' chagrin.

"I thought we were headed for Minoeta!" he panted.

"After we've found Mallecium's camp," she replied.

Mallecium was not in eyeshot of Pelennos, which didn't surprise Xena in the slightest. He wasn't just going to march in. He hadn't acquired his reputation and ill-gotten gains through being stupid and arrogant. Of course, this brought up the question of 'where to next?'

"There's a hill beyond the meadow west of here," said Xena, stopping at the turn in the road and gazing beyond. "I'll give you any money Mallecium is on the other side of that."

"I'll give you any money if I don't have to climb that fucking hill," rasped Ares, leaning on his knees with propped arms.

"Just quit yer bitchin'," growled Xena. "I swear to Zeus... Joxer makes less noise than you on the road. We're never going to keep our cover unless you shut the Tartarus up."

Ares narrowed his eyes, clenching and unclenching his fists as he glared at Xena. "You owe me SUCH a good time..."

"Yeah right," she said. "Keep your eyes peeled for scouts, and for the sake of Olympus - try not to crush too much beneath your feet. We want to leave as little evidence of our passing as possible."

"Don't whine, don't step on sticks, don't complain..." grumbled Ares. "Am I allowed to breathe?"

"Quietly," purred Xena, a playful twinkle in her eye.

"Very funny."

"Who said I was joking?"

Shaking her head, Xena stalked on through the brush. Ares grunted, ducking low-lying branches and taking pains not to break or crush debris and brush ahead. He sighed.

"You know, I forget about this part of warfare." He looked up at Xena, who glanced over her shoulder at him with an inquiring brow. "The spying, the grub-work. I usually wait somewhere for some little guy to come back after doing exactly what we're doing now."

"Yeah, well, you're not exactly suited to this job," she said.

"No disagreement from me," he growled. "Still… you're a God, you think you know everything… then you realise you don't."

"Humbling?"

Ares shook his head, looking into the distance. "Irritating. It means I'm not paying attention."

An amused, gentle expression crossed Xena's face, and it was clear in her voice. "You're probably just distracted by the bigger picture," she said. "You can't exactly run entire wars if you're sweating the little things."

"Are you actually acknowledging the fact that I have an important job to do?" Ares gasped, putting a hand to his ample chest in a parody of shock.

"Loathed as I am to admit it," she drawled.

"The point you're missing, Xena, is that I'm a God. Gods are supposed to know everything—" He was waving his arms about as he said this, and he trailed to a stop. Xena was standing in front of him, gazing ahead. He immediately saw what had captured her attention. He panted, pointing. "Well, well! This is Mallecium's big army, eh?"

Xena curled a lip, planting her hands on her hips. "I guess."

It wasn't a huge camp. Nestled in a clearing near the edge of the forest was Mallecium's camp. The men were staying in the underbrush of the forest. A large, ornate tent was in the middle of the camp, a low-burning bonfire in front of it. This seemed to be Mallecium's command tent. Behind it was a large, long tent which Xena could only assume was for the horses. Next to Mallecium's tent was another long tent, and by the sounds coming from it, and the traffic of men, it was the mess tent. A smaller, heavily guarded tent was on the other side of the bonfire clearing. Leaning to Ares, she tilted her head towards it.

"What do you think that little tent is?"

"Arms, weapons," said Ares quickly.

She nodded. "That's what I figured." She winced, peering at the camp. "Small."

"Two lookout towers, hastily built. About fifteen guards scattered about, twenty by the bonfire. Can't have much more than that, judging by the size of the mess."

"Enough to take every town on this stretch of country," said Xena darkly. She shook her head. "He's clever, Ares."

"Don't I know it," muttered Ares with relish. Xena glared at him, and he cleared his throat sheepishly.

"Thoughts?"

"He's been slowly heading towards Corinth. If he wants to take on any bigger towns, he's going to have to increase the size of his army – significantly." Winking an eye judiciously at the camp, he tilted his head. "I have a feeling that rather than razing these towns to the ground, he's going to be taking them over for food and recruits."

Tilting her head with him, peering at the camp, she stroked her jaw. "He's not ready to attack. No one is alert. He's waiting for something."

"You, probably," said Ares. "He has to know you're coming."

"I was hoping that my arrival would be unnoticed."

"Oh, I'm sure it is," he said. "I said he knew you were coming – not that you were here."

Folding her arms, she turned and smirked at Ares. "Why… you know just what to say to a girl."

He winked at her, muscles bulging in his upper arms as he planted his hands on his hips. With a final glance at the camp, Xena trod carefully back into the undergrowth towards Minoeta, Ares following. They trudged on for some time, their panting the only sound between them. Finally, Xena spoke.

"Well… I've got good news and bad news," she announced.

"Oh?"

"Good news is, it seems we have some time to kill."

"The bad news?"

"We'll be spending it laying low and getting the villagers ready-"

"Oh no!" Ares grabbed Xena by the arm, turning her around. "Nuh-uh."

She shot him a deadly glare. "Excuse me?"

He leant on a tree, pointing at her with his free hand. "I'm taking the trouble to spend time with you and you think you're going to grub it with a bunch of peasants and teach them how to beat people with sticks and get themselves killed?"

Her eyes narrowed at him and her fists clenched. "Well what **do** you suggest?"

"I suggest that you get changed into something a little less iconic so we can both go to the tavern, have a few ales and maybe have a few rounds of arm-wrestling to see who wins now that I'm mortal." Ares eyes burned with firm decision. He wasn't suggesting anything – he was letting her know what he wanted to do.

"Are you crazy?" hissed Xena. "There's a warlord's army waiting there to take over the villages!"

"Remember what I said, Xena. He's not razing these puppies to the ground. He's harvesting people and food. To do that he has to make himself weak. He has to spread a small number of soldiers over a larger territory. When he does that, we can take him on. He'll be isolated from his forces. We can also take on his commanders. After we've polished off those sissies, the soldiers will scatter. But I think you know that." He stepped forward, touching her chin. "I'm not letting you ignore me, Xena. Not today."

"I'm not ignoring you," she said, evenly. "I'm doing **my** job."

Ares took a long breath in, folding his arms in front of him. "I just gave you the best advice you're ever gonna get. You know it. Are you going to make your life needlessly more difficult than it has to be, just to spite me?"

Groaning, Xena rubbed her eyelids. His logic was inescapable. She'd had the same thoughts, the same things had occurred to her – of course they had! She would have done anything to avoid being alone with Ares right now. Would she endanger people's lives, taking the more foolish path? No. Blowing a sigh through her puffed cheeks, she turned about and stomped through the undergrowth once more. Ares said nothing, smirking with satisfaction at Xena.

~~*~~

Darkness had settled about them, Artemis' half moon shining its pale blue light down on Lake Hyrmine, turning it to obsidian. Lute music drifted through the air from the camp on the lake's sandy shore, golden light stretching out from a small campfire. Gabrielle and Joxer were sitting comfortably in the warmth of the fire that kept the cool evening at bay. Joxer was thoroughly preoccupied with the lute, stopping every now and again to tune it. It surprised Gabrielle that Joxer actually seemed to have an ear for notes. He looked like he knew exactly what he was doing with the instrument and seeing this was a new experience for her. He never seemed to know what to do with anything. Joxer showing aptitude for something had an unforeseen effect on her, which she stuffed away into the very recesses of her mind. She wasn't going to be impressed with him. That funny little warm spot was going to stay little and funny and quaint. No growing, no changing, nothing.

She wasn't sure of what to do while she waited for the fish to cook. The scarce root vegetables they had in the saddle bags were chopped and boiling in a pot with some herbs and a pinch of sea salt. There was little else to do. She couldn't bring herself to take out her scrolls, afraid that she might write about Joxer again. Everything seemed to be about him lately and she found it very unsettling.

The music stopped, so she looked to see what he was doing. He was eyeing the fret, looking down it lengthways. She tilted her head, laughing a little.

"Joxer… what are you doing?"

He didn't look at her, just closed an eye and peered at the fret of the lute. A long whistle fell from his lips and he shook his head.

"Amazing. Not a twist or buckle. This thing is perfect!" He cradled the lute and gazed at it with awe. Somewhat lost for something to say, as Joxer hadn't been playing on pretence, she shrugged. The bastard actually had her at an advantage.

"Why are you looking for a twist or a buckle?"

"It'd ruin the intonation," said Joxer, still looking at the lute. Glancing up, he noticed that her face was blank. "Uhm, gee… how do I explain? The – when I put my fingers on these bits here, see?" He plucked a string in demonstration. "If it's twisted or uneven, then the notes aren't right. Get it?"

Looking down to her hands Gabrielle smiled, to her chagrin, in a self-deprecating manner. Joxer had never seen her pull that face before.

"Not really," she said. "I've never been very musical."

Joxer shook his head, waving a hand at the lute and having his turn at being self-deprecating. "It's easy, really, if an idiot like me can-"

"No," said Gabrielle, more firmly than she meant. She cleared her throat, cheeks pink. "What I mean is, just because you understand it… doesn't mean it's necessarily easy. I don't get it. I look at that stick end of that thing-"

"-the neck," murmured Joxer almost compulsively.

"Yeah, that, and I just see strings and bumps. I'd never be able to get a sound out of it. I can't even hear the difference in the notes properly. You have a talent, Joxer. Accept it."

He shrugged modestly and looked away, plucking the lute nervously. Without his helmet or armour he looked very different. The awkward metal wasn't there to weigh his shoulders down. They were broader than she remembered, his arms not quite so scrawny. He was no Hercules, but he had long, supple muscles which suited a man of music. In fact, when he wasn't trying so hard, he was rather fetching.

Gabrielle felt her face flush as her mind wandered into that thought. She was thinking too much, clearly.

"So, what are you going to do once you've learnt to defend yourself?" she asked suddenly, hoping that he'd say something thoroughly stupid and snap her back to reality.

Narrowing his eyes and giving a thin-lipped playful smile, he nodded. "Help people." It was a silly expression, but there was an earnest determination in there too that she knew she wasn't meant to see.

"Oh Gods," chuckled Gabrielle, shaking her head. She wanted to make fun of him, she was ready to but for some bizarre reason, she just wasn't feeling it.

The self-assured expression slipped off Joxer's face and he frowned, the wounded puppy about his eyes. "What?"

"Nothing," she said, waving a hand. "I was just thinking… Like I don't worry about you enough!"

He dipped his head, pressing his lips together in a funny little smile. It was a new expression for her to see on his face and it was decidedly attractive. He finally lifted his head, dark eyes glittering, a gentle smile lifting the corners of his crooked mouth.

"I didn't think you worried about me at all," he said, fighting to look at ease.

She sighed in exasperation. "Didn't I already admit that I did at the inn yesterday?"

He tilted his head thoughtfully, a narrow-eyed look of contemplation taking him. "Nnno, if I remember right, you said you worried about me in a certain situation – fighting I assumed. There wasn't any talk of worrying about me at length." He glanced at her sidelong, a little cheeky curl to his lips.

"See, Joxer? This is why I never tell you anything like this!" she said. "You always turn it around and make a big deal out of it-"

"Hey, I'm not the one making a big deal out of it," he chuckled. He seemed to be in a satyr of a mood, probably buoyed by her unintentional confession.

"By the Gods, you're infuriating!" shot Gabrielle, getting up to her feet and stomping over to Argo nearby.

A moment of silence stretched out into minutes, the jovial mood of before dissipated. She was thankful because she knew this, it was comfortable. Joxer being an ass was normal, expected.

"I'm sorry, Gab," he called out after her, lifting a hand. "I was being a jerk."

"Yes," she snapped. He wasn't supposed to say **that**.

"Will... will you come back?"

Gabrielle had been fiddling with the buckles of Argo's saddle. As he spoke, her indignation went from 'righteous' to 'mild'. Shaking her head, she sighed.

"Sure." Turning around, she rubbed her brow, nervously of all things. Why was she nervous around Joxer? Why did the air suddenly feel so thick? "Let's just forget about it and enjoy the rest of the evening, okay?"

"Sounds good to me," said Joxer, nodding back at her.

Trudging over to Ares' gifts, Gabrielle pulled out the amphora of wine, holding it up and peering at the top of it. With care, she pulled the cork from the top of the amphora and had a sniff. She wrinkled her nose at Joxer.

"Do you think red wine goes with fish?"

"No," said Joxer, a knowing lop-sided smirk on his face.

"Ever?"

"I only remember it working once, and that's on the rare occasion my Dad brought back swordfish from one of his trips to Crete." He stood up, walking over to the wine and having a long, deep sniff. "Ah… see, this is a rich wine, too dark and fruity for trout." Tilting the amphora, he had a sip. He tilted his head, working the wine about in his mouth before swallowing. Pursing his lips in a funny pout, he nodded. "It's good!"

"It is?"

"The best red wine I've ever tasted." He looked to her flatly. "But it still doesn't go with the fish."

She gazed at him, bemused. "How do you even **know** this stuff?"

He shrugged, scratching his ear. "You know, you live in a city, you learn about this sort of thing." She still looked disbelieving. "Mom made sure me and my brothers knew this stuff so we could mix in Athens high society. She wanted to escape the working classes with Dad, and have us boys marry rich society girls." He shook his head with a dark smirk. "Like that worked."

Not wanting to sway into Joxer's unfortunate family history, Gabrielle hoisted the amphora. "So, how do you properly taste wine?"

Joxer laughed. "Ah, nothing doing. We don't have the right cups. Just take a sip… woah! Careful! Not too much!"

Gabrielle had tilted the amphora back and had taken a slightly larger mouthful than she'd planned.

"Don't gulp it down!" he said quickly. "Just – hold it on your tongue … now roll it."

She followed his instructions, her eyes widening as the new tastes flowered on her tongue. She'd had reasonably good wine before, but nothing as good as what was in her mouth at that moment. Joxer smiled, lifting his brows, nodding.

"Huh? Huh?!"

She nodded back at him, swallowing the wine and grinning. "It's amazing!"

"So, Potedeians don't do wine tasting?" asked Joxer.

"Of course we do – we're not savages!"

"I didn't mean-" He pinched the bridge of his nose and picked his next words carefully. "You just don't seem to know how it's done…"

"…Oh. Well, I wasn't really allowed to drink at home, I was too young. By the time I was old enough I'd already run away with Xena." She looked a little sheepish. "And the Gods know what kind of beverages we drink on the road."

"Yeah, don't they ever," said Joxer with a smirk. He had another sip of the wine, holding it in his mouth and tapping a foot happily. "Tell you what – if we're ever in Athens, I'll take you to a proper wine-tasting party. You'll love it."

"Okay," she said, shrugging in acquiescence. She was feeling strangely mellow, relaxation slipping through her veins. She heard Joxer sniff the air noisily and turning, she also sniffed. A dent was in her brow as she frowned.

"That's an interesting smell," murmured Joxer thoughtfully.

"The fish!" gasped Gabrielle, "Oh, Hades' balls!" She dove for the campfire, knocking Joxer sideways.

He made an ungainly stagger before falling forward into the fire with a pained gurgle.

"JOXER!" she cried, yanking him out of the coals quickly.

Standing him up, she slapped his front, beating off any coals that might have fallen into his vest or pants. He turned and raced towards the water, limping, his hands reaching for his right knee. He'd already pulled off his boot when he made it to the water.

"Oh Joxer, Joxer, I'm so sorry!"

She knelt next to him at the water's edge, scooping up water and pouring it on his knee. In the dim moonlight she could only just see a slight discolouration of his skin.

"It's not bad," he said, "The skin is probably a little pink. Hey – you might want to save our dinner."

Dropping her forehead to his shoulder a moment, Gabrielle swore and ran off to the camp. It wasn't long before Gabrielle was back. He looked to her.

"Is the dinner okay?" he asked. She nodded. "Good. Right. Ow! Ah-how!"

"I thought you said it wasn't so bad!"

He looked sheepish and pained. "I didn't want to make you feel guilty."

She rubbed her eyelids tiredly, sitting down in the sand next to him.

"So how badly is the fish-"

"On the crispy side," she said, shortly. "But edible, I think." Joxer nodded, sloshing his knee in the cool fresh water. "Don't stop doing that. I'll get our dinner."

"You're-" He stopped, gulping. "You're going to eat your dinner in the dark, here, with me?"

She shrugged. "Why not? Besides, it's my fault you're hurt." When she returned she had a tin plate in each hand and the amphora of wine wedged under her arm. "Here you go. Have some wine and you won't feel a thing."

Joxer smiled up at her thankfully as she handed him the plate of food and offered him the amphora.

"I should let you knock me into fires more often if this is the sort of treatment I get…"

"I'll have you know, Joxer," she said, setting her plate of fish and vegetables on her knee and digging in with a wooden spoon, "That my sympathies are not so easily twisted by guilt."

"No?"

"No," she said, shaking her head.

"Are you sure?" he asked, leaning back and pointing to his knee. "Cause my knee is **really** hurting… maybe you can rub some salve into it or somethin'…"

"Nice try, Cupid, but salve is actually bad for burns." She waved a finger at the water. "Keep splashing it if it's sore."

"Okay," he sighed, scuffing forward in the sand and settling his knee in the water.

Gabrielle gazed at him a moment, then looked back to her meal, shaking her head.

"What?"

"Hmm?"

"You're shaking your head at me," he said, pointing around his spoon. He took a mouthful of fish, watching her. "What is it?"

Gabrielle shook her head again, shrugging. "It's just – I really don't get you. Sometimes I think I do, that I know all there is to know, but you always seem to find a way to surprise me."

"This is a good thing, right?"

She let out a quick sigh. "It's frustrating."

He did that funny pout, then, the boyish, confused look that might slip to a heart-breaking look of hurt any moment if she said the wrong thing. "Why?"

"I don't know," she said. She looked to the tiny lapping waves of the lake shore, the glinting silver reflections of the moonlight. How could she put it into words? And why did she even bring it up with him? She was skidding into frightening territory. "Sometimes you're capable of being very wise, and I don't know if it's an accident or whether you're hiding something of yourself from me."

Joxer dipped his head, poking his vegetables with the spoon. "Don't worry, it's a mystery to me too."

"And – there you go! You never give yourself any credit either," she said, looking up into the sky. "Not really. Except when it's about stupid things, or when you're trying to convince yourself that you're some huge hero."

"Look, I don't know either!" shot Joxer, frustration and hurt creeping into his tones. He shook his head, putting his plate aside. "I'm sorry I can't be the perfect person all the time. I don't know **how** to be. But you know what? I'm not hiding anything, I never am. It's all there to see. I couldn't hide stuff if I tried! And believe me, I do try, it doesn't work!"

Gabrielle felt the hot splash of regret in her stomach, and she squirmed. "I – I didn't mean that Joxer…"

"I just get the feeling that there's bits of me you like and bits of me you don't."

"That's – that's not true at all," she sighed, tentatively putting her hand on his arm. "I only want to understand why you act out and then beat yourself up – why no middle ground?"

He shrugged, looking up into the sky sadly. "When I was growing up, all I'd ever get from my Dad was a smack in the chops and a whole lot of bruises. Mom was… well. When all you get is abuse, the moment you get a little something different – a smile, a handshake, the word 'friend' directed at you – you go nuts. I didn't know I could be someone's friend. I didn't know anyone would want to be. All I had was the idea to be a warlord, cause that was the way my parents would be proud of me and I wouldn't be a disappointment." He gulped, looking at her. "I act stupid, I know. I just get so happy to be around people who don't hate me. An' – no one ever taught me how to act nice."

She swallowed, a sudden surge of something warm and full making her feel light-headed.

"No one needed to," she said quietly.

His eyes glinted happily as he looked to her, a thankful curl to his smile. With his hair scruffy and a warm blush to his cheeks, she thought he looked undeniably handsome. Something desirable in him shone through and instead of terrifying her as it always did, it made her tingle right to her knee-caps.

_Madness, this is madness_, she thought.

Clearing her throat, she looked down to the amphora of wine, grabbing it and holding it up.

"Let's drink some more of this and enjoy ourselves."

"Okay," he said, grinning and wrapping his hand around the neck of the amphora.

Their fingers tangled, silence falling between them. His grin drifted, fear in his eyes. Fear and hope. He met her gaze, her eyes gleaming with something between disbelief and need. Clearing his throat, Joxer looked away, dipping his head. Gabrielle let go of the amphora, watching him quietly take a mouthful of the heady wine. He seemed different to her in that moment, whether he changed or her perception of him had, she wasn't sure.

~~*~~


	7. Chapter 6: Truth In Moments Shared

_**Chapter Six**_

She couldn't believe she was doing this. If someone had said to her that morning that by nightfall, she'd be huddling in a stable in nothing but her underskirt, waiting for Ares of all people, she'd have smacked them in the face. Yet there she was, covering her armour in hay and waiting for Ares to come back from wherever he went. It didn't seem to bother him that he had no money for a dress. She decided not to think about it as she had plenty of other rather complicated and dire things to concern herself with. Like warlords, and the attentions of the God of War.

There was a sudden squeak of rusted hinges and warped wood, and Xena ducked down behind the stable wall. A horse in the next pen nickered with annoyance at the disruption.

"I'm back," hissed a familiar voice. "Check it out…"

A dress was laid over the door of the stable, Ares popping up next to it. It was a dress made of rough-woven woollen fabric, a bodice and skirt of deep red over white sleeves. Not an expensive dress, but a well-made, attractive one.

"Do I wanna know how you got this?" she asked, grabbing the garment.

"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies," said Ares, winking at her.

"Right."

There was an indulgent look on Ares' face as she stood there with the dress. After a long moment of him staring at her, it occurred to her that he wasn't about to turn around. She sighed heavily and turned away from him, getting on with dressing herself.

"See any soldiers out there?"

"No," said Ares, folding his arms. "Not unless they were out of their armour."

The dress was a reasonable fit. A bit tight around the shoulders, but Xena had always had a hard time finding dresses that fit that part of her anatomy. Fiddling with the laces of the bodice, she stepped out of the stable. Ares was quiet, and when she glanced up at him, he gave her a flicker of a smile.

"You look good."

Rolling her eyes, she glowered at him and stomped out of the stables ahead of him.

"Don't get me wrong, the leathers are hot, but it's nice to see you in something different."

"If I say 'thanks', will you shut up about what I'm wearing?"

"It bothers you that much?"

She gave him a withering look. "Isn't it obvious?"

They were trudging down the main street of Minoeta now, Ares trailing behind her, thoroughly amused at Xena's discomfort. Light and music streamed from the inn up ahead, people milling about the place, adding to the air of festivity and warmness that the place seemed to exude. Xena might have enjoyed it if it weren't for the impish mood of the erstwhile God behind her.

"I didn't think my opinion of your appearance could be so troubling."

"Disturbing, more like," said Xena. "And if you don't get your eyes off my ass you're going to find out where I'm hiding my chakram."

"Cute, but it's probably not in your best interests to throw that thing about in company."

"I won't, if you behave," she murmured, eyes on the inn ahead.

She knew she didn't have to tell him that she'd rather have chopped off a limb than leave her favourite weapon behind in a barn, never mind the fact that there was every possibility that they might run into some unsavoury characters – particularly any of Mallecium's men. She wasn't sure why she was risking their security for Ares. She kept remembering him breaking the link of omnipotence within his sword, pouring it out of himself and, as they fell to earth, becoming painfully human. Risking that for her, how could she deny him a simple night in a drinking house?

They soon found a snug spot at the end of the bar, nestled by the wall. Old farming equipment hung up on the wall, decorated with bows of coloured material and sheaves of wheat. There was even a shield on one wall, something that seemed quite out of place in the overwhelmingly agrarian establishment. It wasn't just the décor that was homely. Farmers and small-time merchants huddled about tables, a couple of rowdy old men sung bawdy tunes by the fire, upon which roasted a leg of mutton.

Ares was quiet, taking it all in as he sipped a foaming tankard of ale. He shook his head at them in mingled awe and disbelief.

"They do this every day, don't they?" he said. "Make their deals, talk about their sheep and drink till they forget that this is all their life is about."

"Why do you think I'm a travelling girl?" she asked with a hint of mischief.

"I know why you started travelling and it has nothing to do with the boring home life," replied Ares, a knowing glint in his eye.

She cleared her throat, looking away. "Don't you ever feel like them?" she asked, redirecting the conversation back to Ares. "That you're doing the same thing day in, day out, without meaning?"

A smirk twisted Ares' lips and he looked infuriatingly self-assured. "I know my place in the universe, Xena. I know what I need to do. It can get monotonous, I'll admit that, but no, it's never without meaning." He looked down to his ale, shooting out a sigh. "I do often wish that this important role of mine gave me room to be something else, something more."

Whatever that something more was, it made Xena's skin burn and shiver at once. He wasn't supposed to want things like this. Ares was war, that was his purpose. To be its force, to represent its madness, to make it happen. There wasn't supposed to be more of him and she wasn't supposed to be so damned drawn to it.

She had to distract herself from him. Grabbing the tankard of ale in front of her, she peered into it, downing the warm, frothing liquid with gusto.

"Woah, slow down, Xena," said Ares. "You **do **realise we have all night?"

"Unfortunately, yes," she growled.

"Let's make it a game!" said Ares, snapping his fingers and motioning over the bar man. "We'll see who can down a tankard the fastest!"

Xena glowered at him. "We're going to end up trashed at that rate!"

He scoffed. "Xena, my dear, this is the aim of the entire exercise!"

"Aren't you a little old for this sort of behaviour?"

Ares made a great show of rolling his eyes before grabbing Xena by the shoulders and staring at her deadpan.

"If you're too old for having fun you may as well be dead!" Xena opened her mouth but Ares put a finger over her lips quick. "Ah-ah-ah! Here." He squared her in her stool in front of the bar.

"Ares-"

"Don't make me hit ya where my good Daddy split ya."

Now it was Xena's turn to roll her eyes. "Fine. Don't blame me if you wake up with the mother of all headaches in the morning."

"Sure, but I would have had a good time the night before. Bar keep!"

Xena gripped the tankard in her hands, staring at the foamy beer inside. Mad. She had to be utterly insane.

A rather drunk looking man, reasonably well dressed so Xena guessed he was a shopkeeper or merchant, eyed her dress as he waited to order a drink.

"You know it's bizarre," he said, slurring and pointing at her, "My wife has nearly that exact same dress!"

"Couldn't be," Ares said. "I bought this one in Tiryns."

The man shook his head. "If she weren't already asleep in her bed, I'd bring her here an' show her!" He laughed and shook his head, stepping forward when he'd finally won the barkeep's attention.

Xena sighed deeply in relief, closing her eyes. "Ares, I swear I'm going to kill you one day."

"That's cool. Just do it when I'm not mortal, okay?"

She glanced to him angrily and at that, he shot her a mischievous grin.

~~*~~

Joxer strummed the lute feverishly, performing a rousing jig that would have no doubt been better played without all the Godly wine in his system. He flubbed a fret-fall here and there, but he was having so much fun it didn't matter. Gabrielle clapped in time, the both of them comfortable on their stretched out bedrolls. The song got to the most difficult part, and Joxer's features twisted in effort.

"Come on, you can do it!" she cried.

He launched into another chorus, this time faster than the last, and soon the song hit a heady crescendo through which Gabrielle let out rowdy hoots of encouragement. With a flourish of plucked strings, the song ended, and Joxer sagged, exhausted.

Gabrielle applauded, shaking her head. "By the Gods, I didn't know you could play like that!"

"Ahh, that wasn't so good," he said, waving a hand. "When I was a kid, Mom would make me get lute lessons every day. I was really good then, really good. I'm out of practice now."

"Puh-leeze!" She grabbed the lute and began to strum it, discordant notes plunking from the poor thing as if it were protesting its sudden rough treatment. "That's my skills! So shut up."

Joxer laughed, taking the lute back and nodding. "Yeah, I think we can both agree you're no Apollo."

"Now you're getting all snarky and superior," she said, slurring a little. "Lovely!"

He tilted his head at her, looking wry. "Your tender encouragement boosted my confidence."

"I'm just tellin' you how it is, no need to get cocky, you big dumb jerk."

Laughter lifted from Joxer, and he shook his head. "Zeus, you're drunk."

"So are you," she said. Reaching forward, she dug amongst their things for the amphora of wine. Joxer laughed again as she had a difficult time locating it amongst the pelts and Joxer's haphazard pile of doffed armour. "I want to be more drunk but I can't... are you hiding the wine?"

"No!" He shifted, and Gabrielle let out a little cry.

"You are! It's under your butt!" She pushed him aside, half-climbing over him to get the wine from behind him. "You're evil, Joxer. Hiding it from me like that!"

"Uh-uh," said Joxer, shaking his head. "I didn't put it there."

"Are you saying I put it there?" she asked him. She had settled back down next to him on the pelt, getting comfortable.

Joxer snorted. "Why would I do that?"

She tilted her head, gazing up at the stars thoughtfully. "I dunno, Joxer. I dunno why you do half the things you do."

"That makes the two of us."

She rolled onto her side, looking up at him. "Don't you ever stop and think... 'Maybe, I shouldn't do this. It might turn out badly for me.'?"

He wagged his head, "All the time. I do it anyway."

A hearty chuckle fell from Gabrielle, and she put her head on his shoulder, smacking his leg, barely making her target.

"See, this is what I love about you, Joxer. You go with your gut!"

He looked down at her, wobbling a little. "There's... something you love about me? I didn't think you even liked me all that much."

"Noo, no," she said, shaking her head, pulling herself up and leaning her chin on his shoulder so she could look him right in the eye. "See, I get frustrated with you. Cause I know you're a good guy, you're good and you're … " She frowned and huffed, trying to muddle through her mind for the right words. "Your heart is brave and right, but you get it muddled up on the way out somehow..." She shook her head. "Gods, I'm not even making sense."

"Yeah you are," said Joxer, stoic despite his intoxication. "I don't know, Gab. I ask myself the same thing every day an'... I dunno."

"It doesn't matter," she said, shaking her head.

"It doesn't?"

She shook her head again. "Nope. You're good'n'you keep tryin' and that's all that matters." Dropping a hand on his shoulder near the base of his neck, she squeezed the muscle there warmly. "You keep doin' what you're doin', Joxer."

Smiling, he reached for the amphora and took a swig. "That's the plan."

"That's a boy!" she said, smacking his leg again. "We're having a good time!"

Joxer gave a tentative smile. "Really?"

Gabrielle snorted, leaning forward and looking up into his face. "You can't tell when you're having a good time?"

He shrugged. "Yeah but... I like bein' with ya. It's more... you..." He gestured, waving a hand at her. "I mean, having a good time with _me_."

She sighed, tilting her head, and tentatively, she cupped his cheek. "Joxer... do you think I play scissors, papyrus, rock with just anybody?" He smiled at that. "I've had adventures with you. Talked into the night with you. Argued with you, fought with you..." She shook her head in wonder. "Other than Xena, who else can say that?"

He put his hand over the one on his cheek, stroking it with his thumb. "Not many people."

"Right," Gabrielle nodded, a little more than she needed to thanks to the alcohol. "I don't want to hear you put yourself down anymore."

"I wasn't," he said. "I just didn't think you liked me that much."

There was a confidence in his expression that was like itching powder in her heart, and she growled at him, pushing him in the arm. "Joxer!"

He made the mistake of chuckling at her. She got up onto her knees, pushing at him again. He didn't just take it. Putting the amphora aside, cork in place, he caught her arms, getting a hold of them about the elbows.

"What ya gonna do now, huh?" He lifted his brows, teasing her.

"Oh, I'll show you, mister Mighty guy," she chuckled, pulling her arms back, wrestling with him.

They were pretty evenly matched, Gabrielle more agile and coordinated than Joxer, but smaller than him. With a growl, Gabrielle surged forward, trying to push his arms back and largely succeeding. Joxer let out a surprised yelp, laughing heartily as they tumbled over in a pile, Gabrielle landing squarely on top of him, both their arms above their heads. She slid into the nape of his neck, and she was suddenly aware of the smell of his skin. It wasn't unpleasant... far from it. He was still underneath her, his laughter dying down, his struggles against her abandoned. She lifted herself up a little, looking into his eyes. Her heart pounded as she saw the gleam in those frightened obsidian eyes. She felt herself drowning in a giddy triumph that was more than the wine, more than her moment of fun. Was there hope in Joxer's eyes? Did he feel the same way? She'd never even though that... She needed to say something, but she didn't want to move, didn't want to break the moment.

"Joxer," she whispered.

"Y-yeah?"

She gulped, looking down at his lips a moment, then back to his eyes. "You wanna know something really -" She stopped and laughed. "Crazy?"

He nodded silently, gulping too.

"I... I think I'm... I mean I..." She winced, scrunching her face up for a moment as she searched for the words. "You remember that time, with baby Eros and the arrows?" She chuckled, shaking her head. "It was crazy..."

Joxer nodded, looking away, a tenseness on his face that was no longer eager. He looked like a man waiting for the axe to fall.

"I used to think that, Joxer. That it was crazy." She shifted, settling on top of him, and with a shaking hand, she ran her fingertips over his forehead, down the side of his face, the strong line of his jaw and to the little dimple in his chin. She smiled like a child, in wonder of the feeling that flowered in her heart as she touched him. She shook her head. "I don't really remember why I thought it was so crazy anymore..."

A deep breath left Joxer, and he closed his eyes, the hand above his head clutching Gabrielle's, the other finding her shoulder and squeezing gently. "Gab... I got a confession to make."

Her brows lifted in askance.

"During that time... with the arrows?"

She nodded.

"Eros never got me."

Tilting her head, she frowned at him. "He never..."

He shook his head, talking as if he were telling her someone she loved had died. "No. It was... it was all me. I... I-yuh... I'm in love with you."

A long, shaking breath left Gabrielle, and she rested her head against his chest, closing her eyes and letting the truth flow through her in strong, gripping waves. He loved her. He really, really loved her. Every look he'd given her that day, every smile, every kiss... Hades balls, every moment ever since!

She pushed herself away from him, running her fingers through her hair.

"I'm sorry," he said suddenly. "I ruined it. I should have told you ages ago-"

"Tell me what?" she said, a dry laugh leaving her. She curled up around her knees, staring at the low-burning fire across from them. "That despite the fact that I treat you like crap and barely acknowledge you, you're in love with me?"

"Gab, don't," he said. "You've had a lot on your plate lately."

"It's not an excuse," she said. "It's not..." She shook her head, sighing at herself. "I look at you when you fumble, when you try so very hard and..." She laughed, feeling tears in her eyes. "I see myself, fresh from Potedaia." He went quiet. She glanced to him over her shoulder. "Every time I hit you I'm, I'm hitting myself. For being so damned... naïve! That maybe if I just beat it out of you, nobody will hurt you the way they've hurt me. If you just – got – tough! Maybe, you'll be okay. Just maybe..." The tears fell from her eyes and the pain, the dead, heavy pain from the horrors of the last many months washed over her. There was no hiding from it. She faced them now, faced this horrible truth. She adored him, adored his childlike innocence, his sweet, eager affection, and she couldn't bear to see the world destroy him. As it would, as it did everything beautiful, everything she ever loved.

She nearly jumped as a hand was at her cheek, wiping a tear away. She looked up, seeing Joxer's dark eyes gleaming with tenderness. He gave the softest of smiles, shaking his head.

"Don't," he said, voice trembling with emotion. "No tears. Not for me."

With hitched breath, she turned and sank into his arms, hugging him tightly to her, in a way she'd never held anyone, not since Perdicas, or the times she'd nearly lost Xena. Never, in all the days since she'd met this ridiculous man, did she ever foresee him meaning so much to her. She shuddered as she felt his hand stroke her hair, the other at her shoulder, running in small comforting circles.

"Nobody's ever cried for me before," he said, a note of wonder in his tones.

Gabrielle leant back from the embrace, looking into his eyes. "I'm sure someone has..."

"Not like this," he said, blinking slowly.

She took a sudden, deep breath in, his warm expression making her skin burn. His hair was tousled from their wrestling, his vest akimbo. His creamy pale skin looked gold in the fire light. He looked unbearably beautiful to her in that moment, and she cupped his face in her hands, her thumbs running back and forth in deft caresses. Slowly, she rose to her knees, still holding him, eyes never leaving his. The softness of her bosom brushed his chest. As he gazed up at her, she could see she was holding his very heart in her hands. Precious, fragile, intoxicating.

She burned in the moment, feeling every nuance of it – the way his hands rested at the small of her back, the way they shook, and always the reminder that this was Joxer, ridiculous, silly, loud, foolish, _wonderful_ Joxer. Waves of understanding crashed higher and stronger, whipping her soul into a delicious madness. This was more than care, more than affection. She didn't want to think on what it was, she just wanted _him_. There was a side to Joxer here that she'd never seen and a frantic need to know it was consuming her. Looking into his eyes, she could see that it was okay. This was okay!

She couldn't help it. She laughed lightly, shaking her head, her nose touching his.

"What?"

She sunk her fingers into his hair, tilting her head, smiling tenderly. "I don't have words... I'm a bard, and I don't have words!"

He shrugged a little, his voice small. "Then show me."

With a rush of warmth in her heart, she pressed her lips to his. His kiss was firm, tender, her top lip settling perfectly into the curve of his lower lip. His hands gripped her back, his breaths light and rushed.

"Gab," he breathed.

"Shhh..." She pushed him back against their pelts and blankets, running a thumb over his bottom lip. "No words, dummy."

Her words were tender, and it sparked a confidence in the man underneath her. Joxer lifted his head, capturing her lips in his, his tongue flickering at her lips. She gasped, her body dipping against his instinctually, her fingers gripping the furry pelt beneath them. His hands slid up her back, squeezing her flesh. She tilted her head, deepening the kiss, and in a bold move, Joxer opened his mouth, guiding her in and teasing her with the tip of his tongue. She felt herself tremble from shoulder to toe, and she flopped against him, her propped arms sliding out past his head as she gave up trying to stay upright in any capacity. Joxer chuckled in the kiss.

"Mmph-you-mm..." He drifted off for a moment, then found his thoughts again. "You all right?"

She nodded, eyes closed, a delirious smile on her face. "I just had no idea you were this good at kissing."

"Well I gotta be good at _something_," he murmured.

He barely got to finish his sentence before Gabrielle's lips were upon his again, her fingertips stroking his jaw and neck. She didn't just lie still and prone upon him. She squirmed happily, dragging her body along his, delighting in the strange joy that was being close to Joxer.

A blush had grown rosy in his cheeks as she glanced to check his expression, and leaning against him, it was no mystery as to why. She looked down only quickly, then back to him, chuckling softly and taking her bottom lip in her teeth. "You don't waste any time."

"I'm sorry, it's just you feel so good and-" Her finger on his lips silenced him.

"Did I say it was a bad thing?" she asked matter-of-factly, brows rising.

"Heh...hehehe."

She grinning and nodded. "Right." She buried her face in the nape of his neck, taking a mouthful of flesh and suckling it hungrily, letting one of her legs shift between his and press against him. He gasped, tilting his head back, almost feminine in his vulnerability.

"G-gabri... elle?"

"Mmm?"

He closed his eyes, forcing himself to think clearly, a near impossibility when the woman of one's dreams was pressing hot, wet open kisses on one's flesh.

"Aren't we a little... oh Gods..." She'd found his earlobe. "… a little too drunk for this?"

After a moment she relinquished his earlobe, sighing and sinking her fingers into his hair once more.

"Joxer, what's your point?"

"I don't wanna be doin' this if you, I mean, it wouldn't be right if I-"

"You're as drunk as I am."

"...I am."

She blinked and widened her eyes at him pointedly. "Then how do you know I'm not taking advantage of _you_?"

He blinked and waved his head a little drunkenly. "Beeecause I really, really want this?"

Gabrielle pinned him with a smouldering smile. She looked him square in the eye.

"So..." She kissed his chin, "do..." the lilt of his neck, "...I." She opened her mouth on his smooth chest and suckled at the flesh. She could hear him panting, and she felt a smile in her heart as she tasted the salt of his skin.

She felt his fingers sink into her hair, and his voice was gentle.

"Gabrielle..."

She lifted her head.

"If we do this, I want it to be right."

Gods damn him all to Tartarus. He'd actually found a way to make her feel as though she loved him even more. She sighed, dragging her body up his, mainly because she was too drunk and too tired to lift herself up properly, and leant her forehead against his, lips brushing his cheek as she spoke.

"Can I keep kissing you at least?"

A goofy grin spread across his narrow face. "Don't let me stop you."

She grinned, smacking him playfully and snuggling to his side. Grabbing a pelt, she dragged it up over them, sinking into the veritable nest of furs. A satisfied moan of a sigh lifted from her as she got comfortable, wrapping an arm around him and settling her face into the nape of his neck. A contented weariness washed over her in the absence of the barrage of hormones, and she felt her eyelids grow heavy.

"This has been the weirdest night I've ever had," she said, pressing light kisses to his neck every now and again.

Joxer shook his head in wonder, gazing up at the stars. "It's been like a dream. I'm afraid to wake up."

Silence stretched on, and Joxer wondered if Gabrielle was going to leave that hanging there. He couldn't really move, so he listened. Her breaths had grown slow and rhythmic, her body a dead weight against him.

"How does anyone even fall asleep that quickly?" he muttered to himself.

He squeezed her a little, closing his eyes and treasuring the moment. It could end tomorrow. He could wake up, and as the effect of the Godly wine left their bodies, so could the affection of this perfect night.

_Thank you, Aphrodite,_ he thought. _Even if this night is all I ever get._

~~*~~


	8. Chapter 7: Caught In the Act

_**Chapter 7**_

His grip was like steel. She didn't want to look him in the eyes, but she had to. Psyching him out was imperative to her victory. She ignored the sound of people laughing and cheering around her, at the clinking sound of dinars changing hands. Clearly they thought it a moment of entertainment worth a wager or two. They didn't realise what was actually at stake here.

Those brown eyes met icy blue, their knuckles going white as their hands were knotted together, pushing in opposite directions. Xena wasn't sure why her time with big muscular bad-boys so often ended in an arm wrestle. Maybe it was a safe substitution for other physical activities involving a fight for domination.

She pressed her lips together, eyeing Ares' brow. A slight sheen of sweat had broken out upon it. She grinned, a wonderful cocky grin that lit up her entire face.

"Don't get excited," Ares grunted.

"But you're getting so worked up," she purred. "A girl can't help herself."

He tipped his head a little. "If I knew it was this easy to get under your skin, I'd have done it hours ago."

"You often make a show of being weaker than me for my amusement?"

"Weaker?" His brown eyes flashed dangerously as he panted. "We've been at this for the past fifteen minutes! I haven't budged an inch!"

"How do you know I haven't been playing with you?"

A wry grin spread across his face. "I think I know when a woman's fakin' it."

"Is that so?"

She pushed against him harder, a playful glint of ferocity in her cool blue eyes. Ares grit his teeth, then grinned, as his arm bent back a touch, then slowly inched its way back to the middle.

"Whatcha gonna do now, eh?" he said, lifting his brows.

"Tire you out," she replied smoothly.

"Then we're gonna be here a while." There was a hungry edge to his voice.

She shrugged a shoulder. "Just so happens I like it when a man puts up a fight."

"Be careful what you wish for, Xena."

She cocked a brow at him. "Is that a threat?"

"A warning," he said, voice getting low as he eyed something behind her.

She glanced behind them, only turning her head fractionally to allow her peripheral vision. Men lined the bar, weapons glinting from their belts. They were of a similar stature, all bulky and watching the arm-wrestle with great interest. They hadn't been there before the arm-wrestle had started. Damn it. A woman like Xena, resisting an obviously strong man like Ares? Even if they didn't think she was Xena, or any hero of importance for that matter, Mallecium would hear of it. She swore under her breath, then glared at Ares.

"I told you this was a bad idea!" she hissed.

"Too late now," he said through gritted teeth. "What's the plan?"

"I let you win," she breathed.

A smirk danced across his lips. "Hey, I like it."

Xena rolled her eyes. "If you beat me, then it'll raise doubts in their mind that I'm anything other than an uppity woman trying to show up a big strong man."

Ares shook his head quickly, watching their clasped hands intently. "No good. You've already proved you're a strong woman – fifteen minutes at this, remember?"

"Well we could make a show of you humouring me," she said.

"All right, I can do a bit of roleplay. Maybe those runts'll buy it."

Xena nodded at him. She spoke to him with the gleam in her eyes, and the slightest incline of her head. With a roar of triumph, Ares slapped her hand down on the table.

"There ya go, that's how it's done!" he crowed.

Wagging her hand in a show of pain, Xena pouted. "I nearly had you!" she said with raised voice.

"Hah! Sure you did, little lady. I was just bein' polite!"

There were groans and the throwing up of hands from the people gathered around them, a fair few evidently having their money on Xena. Even a few of the men at the bar were angry, one of them slamming down a tankard of ale angrily.

Xena leant forward, speaking quietly to Ares. "We're gonna get out of here before we do anything else people might see as suspicious."

Before Ares could speak, a large body drew close to them, blocking the light of the surrounding torches and putting them ominously into shadow. They looked up.

"I want a word with you two."

It was one of the biggest of the burly men at the bar, his skin pitted with scars, his armour worn and mismatched, indicating he was a mercenary in someone's employ rather than a dedicated soldier from a particular army.

"Who, us?" said Xena, tilting her head and looking as girlish and ineffectual as she could.

"You threw that match," he grunted. "I saw you give up!"

"I most certainly did not!" she protested.

"She didn't!" said Ares, genuine anger in his eyes. "I made her think she was winning, it was my fault!"

Xena glared at him. What in Tartarus did he think he was doing?!

"You little pissant!" spat the angry mercenary, grabbing Ares by the collar and pulling him up out of his chair. "You cost me fifty dinars!"

Xena was up out of her chair in a beat, breaking the mercenary's grip with an upward chop of her arms and pushing him away in a swift movement.

"Now he definitely knows something's screwy," said Ares, glancing to Xena sideways.

"I couldn't just let him pound you to a pulp, could I?"

The mercenary was back on his feet now, turning around and narrowing his eyes at Xena. He had been joined by a couple of the other armoured men from the bar.

"You're gonna wish you didn't do that, lady," said the mercenary.

"Pretty sure she's regretting it already," said Ares, getting up out of his chair, his hand on the hilt of his sword. It was no show of bravery as he was edging towards the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" growled the big mercenary. Ares felt a firm, wide body behind him, and glancing back he saw one of the men from the bar. He looked to Xena, alarmed.

"If you're smart, you'll let us leave quietly," said Xena to their aggressor, her hand hovering over a point below her right hip, her muscles tense and ready.

"Is that so?" sneered the mercenary. "I don't see what's so frightening about an unarmed woman and a …" he looked at Ares, rough common clothes and basic sword, and chuckled. "... handless chump like him."

Ares had been trying to edge away from the soldiers, but upon hearing the slight to his appearance and ability, he stopped. He narrowed his eyes, edging forward and drawing out his sword.

"Ares!" hissed Xena. "Put that sword away! Now!"

He paid Xena no heed, instead focusing on the mercenary. "You wanna repeat that?"

"Nah," said the man, shaking his head and stepping forward. "I'd rather come up with something new... piffling pretty boy!"

Ares let loose a cackle. "That's the best you can come up with? Aw, come on! I thought you were tryin' to piss me off!"

"I'm not here to amuse you," growled the man. "You pay up or I start hacking limbs."

"Look at my clothes," said Ares, holding his arms out wide. "Do I *look* like I have fifty dinars?"

The man tipped his head. "Hacking limbs it is, then!"

Ares sighed, looking to Xena. "Shit. I was hoping to talk my way out of this."

She glared at him. "Then why'd you draw your sword?!"

"It was instinctual!" he cried.

The mercenary ran at Ares, pulling out a short sword. Before he could reach Ares, Xena sprang forward, pulling her chakram from under her skirt and using it to swipe his blade out of the way. With a clang the sword was deflected, and Xena kicked him in the crotch, the mercenary tumbling backwards with a gurgle. The soldiers began to move in on Xena, and with a growl, she grabbed Ares by the shirt and ran to the door, Ares swiping a sealed amphora of mead from the bar on the way out. As she reached the door, she sent the chakram flying, the lethal round blade hitting a couple of the soldiers before she caught it again.

"Come on!" she snapped, dragging Ares out the door.

They panted as they bolted down the street. There were shouts and the scuffling sound of feet behind them. Xena yanked Ares down a side-alley with her.

"I don't know what you were thinking!" she hissed. They snuck around a townhouse, down another laneway, then came upon a stable. It wasn't until they stole inside that they realised it was the one they'd left Argo in.

"I could say the same for you!" breathed Ares angrily. "You may as well have done a song and dance number called 'Hey look at me, I'm Xena'!"

"OH! So I guess you *wanted* to be butchered in a dusty old tavern in the middle of nowhere then, hmm? That's an end you find befitting of the God of War?"

Ares tilted his head, putting a hand over his heart. "Xena... I didn't know you cared!"

"Better the satyr you know, Ares," she drawled quietly.

She crept into an empty stall next to the one housing Argo and began changing back into her own clothes. Ares leant on the stall door, watching her unashamedly, though there was little he could see in the dim light of night.

"So what are we gonna do?"

"Pack up our things, return this damned dress and get back to Gabrielle and Joxer."

Ares snorted. "Are you insane?"

"What now?!"

"The first thing those goons are gonna do is go tell Mallecium that you're here. Their second priority will be _finding_ you or Gabrielle, who they'd know you travel with. If you go sneaking off into the woods, there's every chance they'd see us and follow us back to camp, seeing as they'd be lookin' for us right now. Better to return in the morning when we've had some sleep and they've given up. That way, we can keep an eye on the terrain and spot any followers."

Xena folded her arms, looking up at Ares, her lips pressed together slightly, her eyes narrowed.

"...What?"

"I'm trying to figure out what you get out of me staying here."

Ares shrugged, holding up the amphora of mead he'd stolen. "We stay here and finish this."

She let out a sound that was something between a growl and a hiss. "With those guys after us? I'm already drunk enough as it is!"

"They won't find us in here!" he said, opening the door of the stall and crawling down on the ground next to Xena. They were sitting on a fluffy pile of fresh hay, and in his intoxication, Ares bumped into her.

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all," he replied. Pulling the cork out of the amphora, he held it up to Xena. She shook her head, and at that, he shrugged and took a swig of the mead himself. As if sensing her tenseness, he leant against her, talking smoothly in her ear. "Relax. Your two dopey friends are hidden away in the forest where nobody'll find 'em. And you and I are in a dark stable. Where nobody'll find us."

"You hope." She sighed, shaking her head. "What if he decides to step up his attack? Did you think of that?"

"Bzzt!" Ares made the motion of pressing a button, an anachronistic action completely lost on Xena. "He won't bring the attack forward. Didn't you heavy that blacksmith that's gonna make him some new weapons?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Do you watch *everything* I do?"

"Only when it's involved in my job of being the God of War, my dear. My point is, he can't fight if he hasn't got the new armoury."

Scratching her head, she closed her eyes and clenched her teeth. He was right. She looked at him. He was gazing at the ceiling with a pleased smirk.

"What's that look for?"

"I'm absolutely touched that you blew your cover to save my life."

Xena lay back in the hay, gazing at the thatched roof above their heads. "That's great. I'm one of the good guys, you know. Saving your sorry ass is my prerogative."

Ares sighed, leaning back in the hay next to her. "Wow. You're a mean drunk, you know that?"

"I just downed a handful of soldiers and it took you until now to notice?"

"I love it when you're sardonic," he breathed, rolling onto his side, resting against Xena. "You're telling me you didn't have just a *little* bit of fun just then?"

She turned her head to meet his expression, to which Ares lifted his brows, brown eyes wide. She pursed her lips, bottom eyelids creeping up in a wince.

"Huh? Huuuuh?"

"Oh, all right, shut up, I did." she snarled, smacking him in the stomach.

Ares cackled. "That's my girl!"

Xena shook her head, the giddiness from the alcohol numbing her anger. Or was it something else? She couldn't deny it. This evening had been the very idea of a good time for her. Scouting, drinking, arm-wrestling and a fist-fight ending with a toss of the chakram and a night in the hay? Perfection.

_If only those soldiers hadn't seen who I was_, she thought to herself. _Ares is right, though. They won't find Gabrielle and Joxer, not in those woods._

It was with a curl of tension in her stomach that she realised it wasn't the first time she'd found Ares to be right that day.

"Can I touch your hair?" he asked.

Xena gave an amused snort. He was very definitely drunk. "Knock yourself out."

Gentle fingers found her scalp, massaging gently and stroking the midnight black locks. She could hear him sigh contentedly next to her.

"This feels so different when you're mortal."

He very nearly flubbed his words. She turned her head. He was so close she could feel his breath on her cheek. The sweetness of the mead was in the air between them. She frowned, meeting melancholy eyes. A question occurred to her, one that she'd never really thought to ask.

"What's it like, being a God?"

He shook his head and shrugged. "I can't describe it."

"...Not even a little?"

He sighed, a little dent of a frown between knitted brows as he thought on it. "Try to imagine just being your finger."

"My finger?"

"Yeah," he said. "You are your finger. It's all you feel, all you are. Your finger. No other fingers. No sight, no sound, no taste or hunger or thought. Just being a finger."

She wrinkled her nose as she tried to think of it. "I don't get it. So I'd be a finger that touched things, and that's it?"

He nodded. "Right. That's what being is human is like, after you've been a God all your life."

It was difficult to wrap her brain around the concept, the alcohol and Ares gentle caresses of her scalp contributing to the muddle.

"I don't understand," Xena said, moaning a little in frustration. "I mean, I think I get that... it's limiting. But if it is, why is it so vivid for you?"

"When you lose a sense, the others kick in to take up the slack," murmured Ares. "When I'm mortal, I can't feel everything at once, know all there is to know, be in the heart of every human soul on the earth..." He shook his head. "I'm me. In this body, feeling this immediate, fleeting, vital moment."

She couldn't help but smile. "Maybe that's why I prefer it when you're like this."

"What you're missing," he purred, "is that being mortal is like being a finger, and being a God is the whole body – and you can't separate the two. When I'm a God, that mortal seed that was created the first time I became human doesn't just disappear. It's a part of me. Everyone and everything is a part of me. But I'm a little more aware of that part of myself."

Xena looked to him, lifting her brows, a playful wince on her face. "Are you saying that when you love me, you're really loving yourself?"

Ares stared at her, silence stretching out a long moment. Suddenly, a grin spread across his face and he chortled. Xena felt herself laughing too. He took her hand in his, bringing it close to his face and gazing at it, a smile on his lips.

"What are you doing?"

"Feeling you," he said. "You know, I'm... I'm actually glad that my sister pushed me to this. It's the first useful thing she's done for me in her whole existence."

She shook her head. "Ares..."

"S'funny... how you come to realise some things." He continued to stroke her hair, caress her hand. "There's no woman like you, you know."

Xena chuckled under her breath, marvelling at how very drunk he was.

"And I'm a God, I've met plenty."

"Your problem, Ares," said Xena, turning her head to look at him again, "is that you're fixated on me."

"My problem," he said, leaning towards her, so their noses just touched, "is that I'm in love with you."

She took a sudden sharp breath, closing her eyes, trying to ignore the way his fingers moved over hers, the way his hand cradled her scalp so tenderly.

"You don't believe me," he murmured, a dent between his brows. "I don't blame you."

It was getting easier to believe every moment. She tried to change the subject.

"Are you always this introspective when you're drunk?"

Those words came out a little sharper than she'd meant, but it was taking her a lot of mental effort not to let him get to her.

"Only when I'm mortal." He brought his hand to her cheek, his thumb skimming the impressive plane of soft skin. With a sudden breath, he tapped her very gently on the nose. "I just thought of something."

She lifted a brow.

"We never finished that arm wrestle."

"Yeah, so?"

He tugged on her hand. "Come on. We'll wrestle here. Proper wrestle this time, whole body-"

"Ares, I'm not wrestling you in the dark in my tunic."

"Why, scared you might have some fun for once?"

"It's not fun I'm worried about," she said smoothly, a hint of affection in her voice. "It's the _kind_ of fun you're after that bothers me."

He tipped his head to the side and winked at her. "Only the kind you're willing to have."

She leant forward, gazing at him intensely. There was a glimmer of disbelief in his eyes. The corner of her mouth curled up into a pert smile, and she sighed.

"Goodnight, Ares."

He blinked, watching her as she rolled over in the pile of hay and started to settle down into it, facing away from him. His mouth popped open and he was in silent shock until a strangled gasp of frustration left him.

"You just-"

"Good _night_," she said again, a smile still on her face.

He fumbled in the darkness, laying his cloak over himself, grumbling under his breath.

"Obviously I'll be sleeping on my back tonight."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

"You do that."

The smile on her face lingered longer than she wanted it to, and sleep couldn't come quickly enough.

~~*~~


End file.
